The Golden Lasso of Truth

Ore : 6:32 PM

What's this I hear about a new Wonder Woman movie? And why oh why is the SciFi poll even jokingly suggesting that pleather-skinned Charisma Carpenter be cast? Not only does "Cordy" not have the requisite vulnerability and sweetness, charisma is a quality Ms. Carpenter severely lacks.

So I'm gonna nip that nonsense in the bud. Herewith is my wish list/betting pool:

Kristen Davis: I haven't seen her in action stuff, but I have faith. She can do wholesome and earnest, and would be adorable as Diana Prince.

Jenny Shimizu: Especially if she packs on some more muscle and keeps her hair short. WW as a diesel dyke? Hell yeah!

Angela Bassett: Some might say, "She's too old." To those some, I'd say "Go play in traffic, dickbreath." Miz Basset has the chops to add real class and emotional resonance to this role, and could single-handedly turn a potential turd into gold.

Mariska Hargitay: Save her from L&O hell. Don't let her career be decapitated a jack-knifed SVU (hey!). She's got what it takes to fill those satin tights.

Rosario Dawson: If she plays it warm and upbeat -- but no perky! -- that would make up for her giggly youth.

Keira Knightley: Same problem as Rosario: callowness. That said, she could be a hot pick as long as she doesn't take herself too seriously.

Uma Thurman: Good luck, Joss. But she would make an elegant yet personable Diana. Then again, perhaps she'd be better as a villain...?

Michelle Rodriguez: Wonder Woman as gritty, introspective, deep and dark? Could work.

Now, aside from the aforementioned Ms. Carpenter, there are some other atrocious choices being bandied about on the Web and among my circle. Let's put these nags out of any possible running:

Devon Aoki: This is unfair -- a personal and slightly political issue. Sorry, folks, but I've never patronized Benihana's, and I will never watch a movie starring Ms. Aoki.

Lucy Lawless: Wonder Woman is neither a truck driver nor a barmaid.

Sara Michelle Gellar: No. Loved her as Buffy, but no. Just no.

Angelina Jolie: Overexposed and too scrawny besides. I would change my position on this if, instead of Joss, Tim Burton were doing WW.

Jessica Alba: Girlfriend is cute, but without stature. And she cannot act, full stop.

Larry Carroll also has some plum advice.

Okay, let's hear yours. Yeah, both of you.

posted by teh l4m3 at 6:32 PM | Permalink |

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Comments for The Golden Lasso of Truth
LMAO @Jessica Alba comment.
I absolutely *heart* your blog, if you dont mind i shall add you to my have succeeded in killing me with laughter as well as fascinating me with your hooked.
Signed your new blogger homie.
p.s/Im lazy to log in so i posted anonymously.
pps.Please send me some cuban sunshine, alas Canada has frozen my soul.

i believe the entertainment press industry term for a michelle rodriguez 'ww' would be "intriguing"...

Catherine Bell would be my choice, curvy, can act, looks exotic as well

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