• The current Social Security program (SS) is what's keeping you from being rich beyond dreams of avarice, pudgy, white, and owning a tract house in the exurbs and an SUV?
• That it wishes to ban the Bible and force you to into a homosexual marriage at your local McChurch?
• That SS carried on a torrid affair with Medicare and killed Vince Foster?
• That SS donates funds to Hillary KKKlinton and John Skerry?
• That it had a mixed-race child out of wedlock and supports Islamofascism???

So if you're lucky enough to be a member of a handpicked audience at President Bush's Traveling Social Security Revival Tour (these tickets are not available to just anybody), be sure once you've signed your loyalty oath and passed security checks to thank Our Leader for his bold vision for the future of our Homeland!

(Thanks to World O' Crap and others...)