It's Been A While, Minions

Ore : 10:25 AM

But I had to drop in to say "howdy," particularly to the guy burping right behind me at the library. He's waiting for the computer. Five minutes, meester.

Anyway, you know the best part of being a gay hooker? Having a female pimp. Seriously, I just sicced her on some crackie who owes me $60 (I'm what you'd term an inexpensive date.)

Seriously awesome.

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posted by teh l4m3 at 10:25 AM | Permalink | 8 be jibber-jabberin'

Tuesday, April 28th Is My Birthday

Ore : 10:51 AM

I will be 32, and though I have nothing to show for it (and no money to celebrate until the 1st), I am going to have a happy fucking birthday anyway. I've got a roof over my head, a pack of smokes, and food. Others have it worse.

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posted by teh l4m3 at 10:51 AM | Permalink | 7 be jibber-jabberin'


Ore : 12:18 PM

I was in the minority camp.  Unlike a lot of small-minded, sanctimonious tards, I actually liked Ellen Tigh:  she was bitchy, catty, drunk, manipulative, pushy, shrewish, super-slutty and dressed way too young for her age -- in short, she was everything I aspire to be.

To find out she's not only the fifth Cylon, but one of the cool ones at that, makes me reiterate:  fie on all you haters.  Eat it suckas!

PS  To those of you who worry, still having pecuniary difficulties, but horizon looking clearer.  Thanks for your kind thoughts.

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posted by teh l4m3 at 12:18 PM | Permalink | 4 be jibber-jabberin'

Freaking Out

Ore : 9:53 AM

Short on rent by $250, and must raise it by Friday at the latest.

Ideas? Options? You're a creative bunch.

And yes, prostitution is probably out of the question...

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posted by teh l4m3 at 9:53 AM | Permalink | 6 be jibber-jabberin'

Before I Die

Ore : 8:35 PM

I would like to meet Tori Amos. How is this possible? Circles and circles and circles again, I've come full circle with this fabulous bitch. I mean, I'm the guy who sings the first few bars of Mr. Zebra at the laundromat. Huge fan.

Where is she? Where can I find her and buttonhole her and give her a big, crazy-people hug? She really needs to open her own theme park, complete with a rickety wooden roller-coaster, a la Dolly Parton, but named "Datura." In short, are you my playboy mommy?

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posted by teh l4m3 at 8:35 PM | Permalink | 2 be jibber-jabberin'

Soda Jerks

Ore : 1:43 PM

WTF? RawStory, Atrios, DKos -- what is with all my favorite Democratic/liberal blogs and Websites running those tacky ads?

And who the hell starts push-polling immediately after an election? I suppose we should be grateful: if, over the past eight years, right-wingers had spent as much time and effort trying to impelement their ideology as they did marketing it, our country would probably be a carcass-littered, uninhabitable wasteland.

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posted by teh l4m3 at 1:43 PM | Permalink | 6 be jibber-jabberin'

"Threadbare," Okay, But Still...

Ore : 9:23 AM

Mr. Stafford is picking up the tab for three nights with meals at the hotel for scores of the normally uninvited and overlooked. He’s even promising gown, tuxedo and hair-dresser costs for those most in need. “We just need to get back to caring about one another,” Mr. Stafford told The Washington Post, paraphrasing the Bible: “To whom much is given, much is required.”

Mr. Stafford is one-upping Obama inaugural vows to “open this up to the public.” It’s heartening to contemplate a few of Washington’s steam-grate hoboes partying spiffy as expense-account insiders.
I want to know if the editor and writer who decided to go with the sensitive and oh-so-appropriate "steam-grate hoboes" to describe working poor or otherwise disadvantaged Americans also does children's parties.

"Steam-grate hoboes"? Really, dude?

[h/t mcjoan.]

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posted by teh l4m3 at 9:23 AM | Permalink | 1 be jibber-jabberin'

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