Cut (Lines) And (Eat) Paste

Ore : 10:46 AM

There's a lot of fun that can be had at Medea Benjamin's expense. Believe me, I've done it (once to her face, and to her credit, she laffed. Uncomfortably, and with little conviction, but she did.) But of course, doing it that way requires a brain that actually works.

When you're Jeff Goldstein, all else is doomed to fail; you're pretty much reduced to calling her a "
smelly, hippie, treasonous dyke!" (preferably in a whiny, nasal yawp.) Ah, conservatarian humor!

posted by teh l4m3 at 10:46 AM | Permalink | 2 be jibber-jabberin'

英語 が できる の?

Ore : 9:30 AM

If not, this is your week! Because I lurve you, you little shits.

posted by teh l4m3 at 9:30 AM | Permalink | 1 be jibber-jabberin'

T-Shirts I Want:

Ore : 11:42 AM

Ben-Wa Baller (accompanied by various images of handily insertable bling)

Slayers Do It With Wood

Bring Me The Head of Alberto Gonzales

The Aristocrats

Smoke Out Babies

(Anything with She-Ra, Princess of Power on it.)

posted by teh l4m3 at 11:42 AM | Permalink | 9 be jibber-jabberin'

Princess Pukelani, 1989-2006

Ore : 10:57 AM

It was bound to happen sooner or later. She was nigh on 17, for crying out loud. Oh, Pookie, I'm sorry for all the times I yelled at you and cursed you out for tripping me in the middle of the night. I'm glad I got to know you. You were a good girl. You even had the decency to pass away in the late afternoon, making it a lot easier for me to dig that ginormous hole.

Poor Sparky is beside herself. Every morning she does the rounds, looking high and low for you -- she can't imagine where you should be. She spends much of her time laying in your exact spot in the kitchen.

Rest in peace, baby-cakes. Hope the have air-conditioning and lots of soft food where you are...

posted by teh l4m3 at 10:57 AM | Permalink | 15 be jibber-jabberin'

Tragic Tranny Friday

Ore : 11:02 AM

For the record, and I know
this is old news, I just want to point out that I SPOTTED IT FIRST, DAMMIT!

Behold, the power of the average liberal mind! Tremble before my might!!!

posted by teh l4m3 at 11:02 AM | Permalink | 17 be jibber-jabberin'

I Ain't Namin' Names, But...

Ore : 2:29 PM

She's a sweet old lady. Aide at a nearby elementary school. A frequent patron, staunch supporter -- in fact, a friend of the library.

And she's taken umbrage at the mention that I'm trying to expand my Spanish-language movie selection.

"They ought to be learning English," she says, with not a little bitterness and vehemence.

Oh, and did I mention she adores Sean Hannity, thinks Ann Coulter is a laff riot, is a devout Bibliolatrist, and is sure W is just peachy-keen?

At any rate, as a professional I make sure my response is measured and politic -- certainly, it's non-committal. "Oh, they are. I mean, the citizenship stuff and ESL books are just flying off the shelves."

She accepts this with a less-than-enthusiastic grunt, as the language barrier is clearly not her main quarrel. But she lets the subject drop.

(Two things to get out of the way regardless: the vast majority of my Latino patrons speak perfect English, and the ones who don't still make a good-faith effort. Second, even if the town was as white as a spray of edelweiss on snow, it still wouldn't hurt anyone to have available for his or her viewing pleasure the ouvre of Pedro Almodóvar.)

* * *

Folks, here we have a significant minority of American white folk yet again failing to deal with reality. The question before us is not, "Can/should we be a bilingual country?" That was settled long ago, as for centuries now much of Los Estados Unidos has been a country with two languages -- particularly in California, Texas, and the Southwest. The real question is "how shall we as a society comport ourselves in the face of this truth?" Do we take the high road, the path of open-mindedness and inclusiveness? Shall our conduct towards one another be informed by dignity and equanimity? Dare we rise above and be larger than the petty problems and pains that inevitably follow when two cultures must occupy the same geography?

Or do we just continue to ignore reality, along with all the very real problems currently facing America, just for the fleeting visceral satisfaction of going at each others' throats -- of continually showing up at our neighbors' doorsteps armed with pitchforks and torches?

One thing is crystal fucking clear. Too many of us could never be bothered -- would never deign -- to learn even a little demotic Spanish. That's just too much to ask.

posted by teh l4m3 at 2:29 PM | Permalink | 8 be jibber-jabberin'

They Still Haven't Caught Me!

Ore : 10:40 AM

I am become emu, thwarter of Connecticans.
Still on the lam. Will post ASAP.

posted by teh l4m3 at 10:40 AM | Permalink | 6 be jibber-jabberin'

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