Thanks For Everything, But Stop the Race Dilution!

Ore : 3:13 PM

Guest blogging by Sister LaRhonda Arya Hebejebediah Chuggbutter

So, you understand and promulgate the Biblical truth that Woman's womb belongs to G-d, to be administered and stewarded by Man, His intermediary to her. You properly believe Our Leader Mr. President and Commander-in-Chief George Walker Bush may do whatever he has been commanded by Jesus to do, Constitution and liberals be damned. And you dutifully hate brown people (who aren't you.) All fine and well. But don't think for a second that this allows you to get away with just anything -- that I haven't kept my eye on you and your tartish, miscegenating ways.

I'm willing to overlook a lot. Even your being a Mary-worshipping Papist! But arrogating to your dusky, almond-eyed self the privilege of marrying white men is just beyond the pale.

Something The Lord Made Wrong!!!

If divorce weren't a sin worthy of getting thrown into the lake of fire, I would exhort you, as a notional ally in the Clash of Civilizations and the War on Terror and Liberals, to give him up. As it is, what is done is done. All I can do is pray that you repent, and that you and your Lord and Master Jesse refrain from conceiving any more of those mud-babies.

This is a time of great terror, beseiged as we are on all sides by islamofascists and the godless Left, and we on the right cannot afford to be riven by this issue. The good book clearly instructs us to annihilate all non-Christians so that they might as soon as possible know G-d's judgement, and to then erect a Government in Christ that will institute Biblical Law and abolish taxes (Ebenezer 9:11) -- and we cannot do this if we are not together, if some of us decide self-indulgence is more important than the mission. So please, Michelle, for the love of all that is good and holy and right, do nothing further that would instigate divisiveness among us. We need you. You need us. Could you just please mind your place, lay off the provocative behavior, and lay only other Orientals from now on? If rumor has it true, naturally such trysts won't be nearly as satisfying as those with your white buck, but they would be more in accordance with G-d's plan, and therefore less likely to cause ill will in our ranks...

Oh well, at least you're not a nigger.

posted by teh l4m3 at 3:13 PM | Permalink | 10 be jibber-jabberin'


Ore : 4:05 PM

Still out

Click here for a downgrade!

posted by teh l4m3 at 4:05 PM | Permalink | 7 be jibber-jabberin'

Slim Pickins

Ore : 5:05 PM

It should be no wonder that Auguste's unwelcome departure from the constant coverage of the car wreck that is Michelle Malkin compelled me to drop by Her Racistness's site.

The first post to assault my senses, my sensibility, and my critical faculties is titled "'EARNING' CITIZENSHIP." Naturally. Couldn't express enough ire without those scare quotes.

Which leads me to an aside -- one possible reason Auguste may have gotten fed up with his constant vigilance -- just how much dank, dark, sticky, oily, venemous hatred can one fit into a 17-word sentence? Michelle, being Michelle, gives it her all: "Illegal immigrants hop the border fences and head for the storm drains on their 'path to citizenship...'" And just in case her verbal razor-slashing of brown guys' (AND REMEMBER, THEY'RE AFTER OUR WHITE WIMMIN!!!) faces was too subtle, she quotes a news article to back up her cucaracha allusion -- an article, by the way, that in the first paragraph just happens to give the lie to her "assertion" [ed's note: Watch out, Kaye Grogan!]:

"But his smuggler instead led him and four other migrants through a patch of reeds to a stinky drainage pipe, and ordered them inside. [emphasis not Jesse's Michelle's.]"

Which of course leads me to think another reason Auguste has moved on to greener pastures. This shit is just too easy.

posted by teh l4m3 at 5:05 PM | Permalink | 9 be jibber-jabberin'

The Pelagic Argosy Hits The Skids

Ore : 2:00 PM

Not Shown:  The Hypogeum Adamanthine
This Being An Issuance From The House Absolute

Leading the charge against the AsciansThere are subversive elements among you we know who charge that we, your Autarch, mounted our destrier at the border our Commonwealth shares with the Ascian territories merely for show. Know now that the voices of these exultants and armigers, however attractive and reasonable issue truly from the dread forces of the deep known to us as Abaia and Erebus. Their legion seeks only to aid our enemies, and to prevent the coming of the white fountain, which shall renew our old, diseased Sun and bring forth a reflowering of our crippled Urth.

The Citadel's tragic but necessary demiseRecently, these same voices, hoping as they do to prevent our recovery, have erroneously charged that we in our torpitude and dissolution allowed the sea to take the great city of Nessus, and by our allegedly neglectful nature refused to take up the Claw of the Conciliator that we might return to life the many thousands who died in that deluge. Nothing could be further from the truth. We, of a thousand titles, who are many in one, and who forget nothing remember well the drowning of that great city. Be not alarmed, however, for it is merely an expression of the arrival of the New Sun, the retrieval of which we as your Autarch have been tasked -- not to mention tested severely -- by the forces residing in the universe Yesod. With great change comes a great price -- the greater and more necessary the change, the more devastating the price exacted.

Have heart then, and know that very soon the Old Sun shall pass away to make room for the New Sun, which will outshine all other stars in the heavens when on the day of its coming the horizon drops from its glorious face.

Heh, heh, heh.

Your Autarch

(Apologies to Gene Wolfe. And to my readers -- as my computer is teh Br0xXx0rZ, I may not be visiting with y'all as much... Sorry!)

posted by teh l4m3 at 2:00 PM | Permalink | 7 be jibber-jabberin'

Sunday Plongeur Blogging

Ore : 11:01 PM

How would I hump thee? Let me count the ways...

posted by teh l4m3 at 11:01 PM | Permalink | 27 be jibber-jabberin'

Why Chuckles Has To Rollerblade

Ore : 8:29 AM

He can't take a cab:
Look out, AG!

posted by teh l4m3 at 8:29 AM | Permalink | 10 be jibber-jabberin'


Ore : 7:35 PM

I didn't get to the last post's comments before posting this, but this story, small and local though it is, is just too goddamned fucked up to ignore.

posted by teh l4m3 at 7:35 PM | Permalink | 5 be jibber-jabberin'

Damage Control

Ore : 8:17 AM

After watching Ramesh deflate like a squeaky mylar balloon on TDS last night, I just had to take a peek around The Corner, where I found K-Lo, Jonah and The Derbster "analyzing" the appearance while desperately hoping that none of their readers had actually watched it.

For the record, it was brilliant. Stewart was as deferential to Ponnuru as his native good sense would allow -- meaning he (almost apologetically) could not help but drop a few gotcha moments on Ramesh's head for the latter's blatant hypocrisy on the abortion issue; the former didn't seem to relish those moments, though. The problem was not, as Derbyshire would have you believe, that Stewart didn't "let him get a word in edgeways," but that Stewart brought up points to which Ramesh had no answer; Stewart was not issuing rapid-fire interruptions, but kindly trying to help Ramesh along when the brilliant cultural critic got a little tongue-tied. Nor was the problem what the Pantload asserted, that TDS's audience was too racuous; they weren't cheering Stewart's pungency as much as laughing when Ramesh couldn't defend his thesis (Stewart, by the way, did his darnedest to keep the audience in check so that Ramesh could have replied if he wanted to.)

La Lopez, natch, all but admitted that she just would have thrown a hissy fit at the first sign of resistance to the ridiculous ideas being forwarded and called it a day -- making her the most honest of the bunch.

I suppose the only diagnosis one can come up with is that the huffy morlocks from NRO (as well as many other corporate slush fund-underwritten Regnery crackpots) have simply grown soft after too many uncritical receptions by "real journalists" at broadcast and cable news networks. It is to Stewart's credit that he didn't bring up the point of sentences for women who have abortions, a point that has shut Ramesh and others up in the past, or the facile hypothetical of the
two year-old girl vs. the petri dish full of blastocysts that has had a similarly muting effect on the Right. His questions and responses hewed very close to the real-world, man-on-the-street POV, but no matter how innocuous, he was simply too much for Ramesh to handle.

Ramesh really needs to take a page from Ann Coulter: if your words are going to be as divisive and inflammatory on the page as that, you need to back it up in your personal appearances. Otherwise, you look doubly weenieriffic.

As an aside, it seems that there's an inordinate amount of effort being put by the NRO folks and Ramesh himself into flogging this "Party of Death" book. Is it because the author is a non-white conservative? Is it that the book really is the cream-of-the-crap of the soon to be remaindered tales of fear and sociopathy currently on the market? I don't get what's so special about this book, that it would get any more than some ad blocks on NewsMax and a few shout-outs from D-List wingnutlebrities.

posted by teh l4m3 at 8:17 AM | Permalink | 13 be jibber-jabberin'

Straight Outta Coach

Ore : 7:37 AM

Ooh, snap!

posted by teh l4m3 at 7:37 AM | Permalink | 13 be jibber-jabberin'

Never Gonna Get It

Ore : 11:47 PM

Really, San Francisco Bay Area conservatives are odd creatures. There's something almost comical about these people, whose votes never count in elections, who love all the benefits of living among and daily sparring with the vast liberal population whose politics -- nay, whose very lives -- they, with their ever-ready smirks and smugness, are always poised to denigrate.

They go through their entire lives thinking there's some sort of rational middle ground only they can see, and that
they are its eminently sensible denizens:

Want to find them? Want to discourage more people from coming to America so they can work here illegally? Squeeze employers.

Debra J. Saunders, I never in my life thought I'd live to write these words, but you, for once in your haphazard and inexplicable career, are absolutely fucking correct. I would however hasten to expand on this by saying, "here is where the rubber meets the partisan road." Because anyone who in earnest hopes to expect any sort of squeezing of or censuring of or cracking-down on employers of illegal immigrants by a Republican-run government truly is living in a land of supply-side gumdrop trees and gossamer, fairy school vouchers.

Her Ragged, Condescending Puffiness is bemused and bewildered by the notion of stationing National Guardsmen and women at the border. How can she so completely fail to grok? This is just par for the course: whenever has the Republican party not been about shunting public monies into a private sector which has done absolutely the opposite of what it might take to earn them? In this case, taxpayer dollars are going to pay for a camo-uniformed smokescreen Bush hopes will distract from the fact that he intends to do fuck-all about those who knowingly employ illegal workers.

At one point she quotes noted yahoo
Mark Krikorian, who states, "In the White House they think that anybody who is concerned about immigration must be a yahoo."

Gee, Debra, I wonder why that is?

PS To anyone who reads the article, yes, I'm well aware that she gets virtually everything else wrong. As usual.

posted by teh l4m3 at 11:47 PM | Permalink | 9 be jibber-jabberin'

3X3 Meme

Ore : 8:36 AM

Because I've totally been remiss in providing enough mindless filler...

Three favorite books in translation:

The Plant, The Well, The Angel by Vassili Vassilikos
Borderliners by Peter Hoeg
A Personal Matter by Kenzaburo Oe

Three condiments you can't live without:

Pickled ginger
Soy sauce

Last three meals you ate:

Lunch: egg salad on rye with kettle chips and baby carrots
Breakfast: applesauce and a piece of chocolate cake
Dinner: catfish, fried potatoes, and spring green salad.

Top three albums in rotation:

Yeah Yeah Yeahs: "Show Your Bones"
Deerpen: "Wayward"
Wolf Parade: "Apologies To The Queen Mary"

Names of three pets, past or present:

Miss Biggie
Chunky Dora

Three favorite flowers:

Apothecary rose

Three favorite drag names:

Taters Honeywell
Gonorrhea De Janeiro
Suppositori Spelling

Three sexiest musicians:

Dan Bejar (New Pornographers)
Samuel Beam (Iron & Wine)
Will Sheff (Okkervil River)
(oh, shit, I just realized they all have beards...)

Three mortal fleshbags upon whom you believe this meme ought to be foisted:

Madame "R"

posted by teh l4m3 at 8:36 AM | Permalink | 10 be jibber-jabberin'

FOX News: One-Stop Shopping For Unintentional Hilarity

Ore : 8:15 AM

The gorgeous studs of S,N! pointed us to this creepy-ass page. But here at Freedom Camp, we prefer to ack-cent-u-ate the positive:

Finally, a news outlet not afraid to report the good news!

posted by teh l4m3 at 8:15 AM | Permalink | 3 be jibber-jabberin'

Instant Blogging of Preznidenchural Address

Ore : 5:23 PM

1. Misrepresented reason for multimillion-citizen rallies against the Republicans' severely stupid Latino-baiting.

2. Ooh, employers have no idea that the brown folks with limited English skills are illegal because the Messicans is using forged documentation!

3. Bush: "We are a nation of laws." My mom: "You oughta know: you break 'em every day."

4. Goes from "we do not have full control of the borders [doesn't mention ports, natch]" to "we do not have full control of the border [singular]". Mmm-hm.

5. We will deploy predator drones to take out day-laborers. Yay!

6. The National Guard (that which can be spared from the Middle East) will be stationed at the border. Fuck you, New Orleans. If there's a tornado, fuck you Texas. If there's an earthquake, fuck you San Francisco and Los Angeles.

7. David,
you get a cookie from the fucking Oracle.

8. The invading Mexicans are so desperate to clean our pools and pack our meat, what can we do? They're practically begging to be part of an enormous corporate slave labor pool. So let's give them what they want. Also, stop hitting yourself. Why are you hitting yourself? You're pretty stupid to be hitting yourself like that.

9. Amnesty is a four-letter word.

10. I think the penalty for entering the country illegally should be to do what they are doing already: paying taxes, working, and trying to learn English.

11. Here, I will deign to share a condescending story about a Mexican immigrant who earned citizenship by fighting in my war. Muy excelente, Guadalupe!

posted by teh l4m3 at 5:23 PM | Permalink | 10 be jibber-jabberin'

Behind The Shelby Steele Curtain

Ore : 9:55 AM

He's a self-made man who's pulled himself up from humble beginnings. He used to be a liberal until he saw the light, a lover of that ever-so-elusive concept of "common sense." He's thoughtful and gentle and "avuncular" -- and so much more, we are informed in Eric Guthmann's gushing stroke piece on the most misunderstood Hoover Institution research fellow ever.

But no matter how assiduously one airbrushes a portrait, some flaws are simply too large to be hidden. Sorry, Shelby, but it's hard to take someone seriously when he is paraphrased as asserting that "black oppression ended with the racial reforms of the 1960s," and then, several paragraphs later, we read:

Looking back, Steele writes in "White Guilt," it was his first taste of being stigmatized by the label "black conservative" -- "one of the worst things you can be in American society." White liberals are offended, white conservatives are embarrassed and blacks feel betrayed.

Not to mention this brain-fart:

"Black identity since the '60s has been a totalitarian identity. It's enforced. And if you don't subscribe to the party line, then you are a betrayer and a dissident, and you are treated as dissidents were treated in the Soviet Union."

[All emphases mon] Um, yeah, Shel, it really sucks that you were tortured by the KGB and sent to a fucking gulag jess fer, well shucks, you know, tryin' to say the same things that MLK and Reverend Jackson have been saying for decades (but with a dash of Hoover Flavor, of course). Thank goodness you get all those day-passes to attend your book-signings...

PS: I'm too zoned out today to figure how to fit these in, but I cannot "Publish Post" without calling attention to the several anecdotes alluded to wherein many nefarious liberals' true colors are revealed and he is forced to side with the Right: the unnamed white colleague who offended his literary standards by suggesting a course in ethnic writing, or, more laughably, the phantom critics who "try to nullify his arguments by pointing out that" his mom and wife are white. To quote that inimitable and justifiably lauded doyenne of American letters (and Nobel Prize winner) Toni Morrison: "Negro, please."

posted by teh l4m3 at 9:55 AM | Permalink | 4 be jibber-jabberin'

Happy Mothra's Day

Ore : 9:42 AM

I know we've had our differences over the years -- mainly when you destroyed my scale model of Tokyo and killed all those poor, tiny Japanese people residing therein -- but I love you anyway, you enormous, psychedelic, radioactive monster, you.

posted by teh l4m3 at 9:42 AM | Permalink | 7 be jibber-jabberin'

Gobblin' Knobs

Ore : 5:52 PM

Search results for knob gobbler:

Oooh, mmph baby, yeah...

Aw yeah, that's it

Yeah, baby, take it in your mouth...

And check what I fizzound for cobag...

Yeah, I got nothin'. So?

posted by teh l4m3 at 5:52 PM | Permalink | 5 be jibber-jabberin'


Ore : 9:32 AM

First cuppa thought: I was noticing how terrifically tore up Bush has been looking lately (seriously, like a mop of gray hair glued to something the dog procured from the back end of the horse corral): this morning, his voice creaking and cracking as he mentions the problem is "these militias, taking the law into their own hands." You know he's tired when he accuses Iraqi insurgents of doing exactly that which most of the American people are aware he is doing at this very moment. That projection of cognitive dissonance was jarring even for me, who has been dealing with bizarre social conservatives for much of my young life.

In short, he seems near some sort of break-down (doubtless getting an off-the-record earful from the likes of the brilliant Albright at his "meeting" didn't help his mental state none...) And I thought of that scenario that haunts so many liberal minds, wherein Bush is removed from office and replaced with Dick Cheney. Many liberals oppose impeachment because they're sure giving Cheney the presidency would be the worstest thing EVAR!1!!1!

But how? I mean, Dick Cheney has an approval rating on par with that of Sudden Infant Death Syndrome. The only reason Cheney has thrived for so long is because he is in the dark; he is perfectly positioned to hide from scrutiny. Put in the Oval Office, he wouldn't be able to avoid the spotlight. And could you imagine someone easier to sweep from office in November?

So he gets the presidency for a couple of months. Big effin' deal. He already
enjoys all the power associated with the office anyway -- he'd just be getting the sceptre to wave around is all.

posted by teh l4m3 at 9:32 AM | Permalink | 14 be jibber-jabberin'

Don't You Wish Your Country Was Hot Like Me?

Ore : 12:01 PM

Don't you?

I love how over the past several years ours has turned into the kind of government that would send James Madison into apoplectic fits, and Tom Paine to Gitmo (and just you try writing something as wonderful as The Age of Reason when you've got a chemical lightstick up your bum).

Anyway, at least we're all over the E3 Booth Babes AKA The Satanic She-Beast Sluts From Hell. Because there's no quicker way to sink a nation than to unleash gazongas for marketing purposes.

posted by teh l4m3 at 12:01 PM | Permalink | 5 be jibber-jabberin'

Hey Lady!

Ore : 10:14 PM

Like, that leotard is all hella hot, you know? No, really, I mean it! With that on no one would ever suspect you of being one of Ripley's aliens plugged into a Juice Newton wig.

Anyway, tho, it's like this: You know how you want to be all "I'm against godlessness, grrr"? Which is great. But you know what? It might help, you know, artistically and promotionally if you refrain from juxtaposing your image with the word "Godless" in BIG ASS RED LETTERS.

Just sayin'.

(Apologies to the sexy, muscular gentlemens of apartment

posted by teh l4m3 at 10:14 PM | Permalink | 9 be jibber-jabberin'

"But Mommy, it's the *wrong kind* of elitism!"

Ore : 9:04 AM

Jonah Goldberg has a problem with elitism, yet he doesn't seem to know it:

Whenever a political movement arises -- like American conservatism -- which challenges the elite-bureaucracy's authority they are accused of working against "the people" and the "downtrodden."

To be blunt, I as a Liberal have no problem with a certain, common elitism. If out of an enormous pool of interviewees the guy or girl who is the fastest, most fluid, most convincing writer with the biggest vocabulary gets the copywriting job, I'm not ruffled. I'm fine with the notion of someone who's spent his or her entire life coordinating disaster relief getting appointed to head FEMA. Every society is in part predicated on one kind of elitism or another; our system is better than most -- I'd much rather people achieve influence and power based as much as possible on their own merits, rather than
by dint of inherited wealth and connections.

And it is exactly this system that Jonah Goldberg has a problem with. He wants it gamed so that when, for example, he tangles in public with Juan Cole, the latter is constrained in such a way that Jonah would not suffer a smackdown
so deeply embarrassing that it would have driven someone less self-conscious and more sensible than he from the public scene ages ago. Ideally, someone like Juan Cole would not be allowed to exist in Jonah's utopian elitist framework.

(Really, read the post -- it's worth it just for the oblique shout-outs to old fascists and Pinochet, even as Goldberg supposedly maintains his notion that fascism is a primarily leftist phenomenon. Hysterical)

posted by teh l4m3 at 9:04 AM | Permalink | 6 be jibber-jabberin'

Free Dumb Camp

Ore : 9:46 PM

Is on haitus through Monday.

Bottoms up, mah bitchez!

posted by teh l4m3 at 9:46 PM | Permalink | 10 be jibber-jabberin'

Why Am I Linking To FOX News?

Ore : 7:45 AM

Here's why.

Question: How many criminals, once convicted and sentenced to life in prison, are given a podium and air-time? Apparently one arena in which our conservative overlords seem to have at least partially succeeded is in painting hum-drum reality with the lurid colors of a comic book; Moussaoui has been elevated by their ministrations from a thug and a criminal and a shitty failure of humanity to a member of the goddamn Legion of Doom. One half expects him, at some point during his press conference, to cackle wildly and hook his trademark umbrella onto Osama's and the Joker's helicopter, thereby making his great escape.

At any rate, I suppose the branding iron with which the Kristolmethodists keep striking the face of We The People in order to
keep us in line needs to be re-heated from time to time with lines like these: "America, you lost. I won."

Very useful for a two-minute-or-so hate as well as fearmongering, no? Bonus: check out how swarthy he is. And to George Bush's White House, lines like these, so calculated to whip American jingoists into a steaming froth, must be like manna from an entirely Old Testament heaven.

Here's where I play the Secretly In Love With Islamofascists Liberal: Moussaoui is, in a sense, absolutely correct that we have lost. Why? Because George Bush and our Republican-led government have decreed it should be so. All the terrorists had to do is get lucky once, and let George Bush do the rest: The Republicans, perceiving in this threat a lovely cudgel with which to achieve domestic political supremacy, worked the American people into such a frenzy of hatred and fear and xenophobia that we barely seem to mind as we engage in policies of torture and illegal invasions, as our treasury is drained, as our young men and women are daily cut down by the score, and as George and Dick wipe their asses on the Constitution. We barely give a damn when we lose an entire coast to the sea; due to incompetence, poor planning, and apathy tinged with racism and classism, roughly twice as many people remain unaccounted for in the aftermath of Katrina as were lost in the attacks of September 11, 2001. But hey, you know, we're all like, turning corners and shit...

The arsonist bin Laden burns down one hut, and the Mayor's response is to raze the entire village in order to save it (as well as to invade and occupy Shelbyville, but that's another story...)

See, Osama and Co. could never destroy America. By its very nature, America is indestructible from without. Ten terrorists could detonate ten suitcase nukes in ten different American cities simultaneously, and they could not destroy America; only America can destroy America.

George, Osama thanks you.

posted by teh l4m3 at 7:45 AM | Permalink | 8 be jibber-jabberin'

Fragment II

Ore : 11:17 PM

I was maybe eight years old when I first visited the Hazu Park Historical Midway and caught the most arresting bit of true-film documentary: an actual, full-color scene from an actual Old Earth "freeway," a stretch of pavement filled with rocky chips and lined with painted dots and reflective material. And on that freeway rolled, among other fantastical yet oddly unimaginative vehicles something labeled a "semi." Nothing I have seen in all my regrettable years resembles this semi as much as a Chang'an line-style comestibles freighter. At the front, there is an emitter grill (at least, I've told the grill emits something; I understand their technologies less than they understand ours) flanked by two large running lights, all of which is surmounted by two large windows -- the most generous part of a tiny crew cabin. The whole edifice as described forms a sort of face (viewports corresponding with eyes and so on...), one that seems to complain in silence, hard-used but used well, as the gestalt gives the impression that it has been used wisely. It complains, even as it exults in its own noble yet pissy way.

(please be advised that the portrayed language is subject to change at my whim...)

posted by teh l4m3 at 11:17 PM | Permalink | 8 be jibber-jabberin'


Ore : 10:13 AM

Two ideas:

1. Should the May Day protesters wish to add a bit more punch to what the media have weirdly labeled their "Boycott," perhaps they could spend a day utilizing non-profits and government agencies: make or keep an appointment with a local immigration services counselor, (if you're searching for a job) visit the EDD, take public transportation, visit your local library, (if you're a citizen) send an e-mail or voice a concern to your elected representatives, pay a visit and make a donation to a non-profit elder day-care center. Such a movement might have the effect of not only showing how integral immigrants and naturalized citizens are to the U.S. economy, but how great a part they are of everyday life in this country. An added bonus (at least for the non-profits) would be that the added demand would help aforementioned agencies secure greater funding...

2. People opposed to vigilanteism on the borders should infiltrate the Minuteman project. If
David Neiwert's account is any indication, it's criminally easy to get a badge to one of their pathetic, armed tailgate parties. If you've got a look-out post that's pretty much out of eye- and earshot of your neighboring Minute Men, why not sneak out some water and provisions to those making the hazardous desert crossing? As a bonus, you can serruptitiously snap pics of whatever Nazi paraphernalia and examples of abuse of arrogated power you encounter.

posted by teh l4m3 at 10:13 AM | Permalink | 5 be jibber-jabberin'


Ore : 6:38 AM

It was Spring 2003. IIRC, the invasion was not yet underway, but the war was pretty much moments from starting -- and the Bush boys were chomping at the bit. Donald Rumsfeld, for once his whiney petulance eclipsed by a flood of saliva, took to his Pentagon press conference with gleeful aplomb. I remember none of the questions but one, and that I may only paraphrase.

A reporter asked what was being done to prevent or mitigate civilian casualties. Or perhaps I embellish; perhaps he asked merely about civilian casualties in general.

At any rate, Rumsfeld's answer was to laugh. It was a low, cackling chuckle, and as if on cue -- or rather, command -- the generals around him, as well as his civilian underlings, echoed his sentiment.

Did I believe he was merely laughing callously and cavalierly at the idea of gutters limned with headless five year-olds? No. Rather, he is a Republican, a party that cannot communicate to the American people without the use of code words and dogwhistles, so that they may wear a veneer of moderation even as they reassure their extremist base (they're all Schwarzenegger until the votes are tallied, at which point they all become James Inhofe); Rumsfeld is also a Bush appointee, a vizier in a court where Newspeak is the lingua franca. His immediate thought was doubtless born of projection; he credited the reporter as some sort of fellow word mangler from the opposite camp, who had chosen to thrust with a rhetorical rapier, and thought "oh no, I see the trap there and you're not going to get me with that, ho ho ho." At that point, it was not about lives, but about supremacy in the sphere of public relations. He was laughing, I'm sure, merely to shrug off what he perceived not as a reporter's question, but as a liberal media agent's attack.

Regardless, on a more primal level, one can simply hear the question, and the response, and take that moment as a final confirmation that we are ruled not by lofty men, but by monsters -- gratuitously nasty, deeply stupid monsters.

Well, Dennis Miller might get a chuckle out of it, too...

This is actually a really funny joke, but you can't get it unless you're as smart as Ann Coulter...

posted by teh l4m3 at 6:38 AM | Permalink | 8 be jibber-jabberin'

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