Why Am I Linking To FOX News?

5.04.2006
Ore : 7:45 AM

Here's why.

Question: How many criminals, once convicted and sentenced to life in prison, are given a podium and air-time? Apparently one arena in which our conservative overlords seem to have at least partially succeeded is in painting hum-drum reality with the lurid colors of a comic book; Moussaoui has been elevated by their ministrations from a thug and a criminal and a shitty failure of humanity to a member of the goddamn Legion of Doom. One half expects him, at some point during his press conference, to cackle wildly and hook his trademark umbrella onto Osama's and the Joker's helicopter, thereby making his great escape.

At any rate, I suppose the branding iron with which the Kristolmethodists keep striking the face of We The People in order to
keep us in line needs to be re-heated from time to time with lines like these: "America, you lost. I won."

Very useful for a two-minute-or-so hate as well as fearmongering, no? Bonus: check out how swarthy he is. And to George Bush's White House, lines like these, so calculated to whip American jingoists into a steaming froth, must be like manna from an entirely Old Testament heaven.

Here's where I play the Secretly In Love With Islamofascists Liberal: Moussaoui is, in a sense, absolutely correct that we have lost. Why? Because George Bush and our Republican-led government have decreed it should be so. All the terrorists had to do is get lucky once, and let George Bush do the rest: The Republicans, perceiving in this threat a lovely cudgel with which to achieve domestic political supremacy, worked the American people into such a frenzy of hatred and fear and xenophobia that we barely seem to mind as we engage in policies of torture and illegal invasions, as our treasury is drained, as our young men and women are daily cut down by the score, and as George and Dick wipe their asses on the Constitution. We barely give a damn when we lose an entire coast to the sea; due to incompetence, poor planning, and apathy tinged with racism and classism, roughly twice as many people remain unaccounted for in the aftermath of Katrina as were lost in the attacks of September 11, 2001. But hey, you know, we're all like, turning corners and shit...

The arsonist bin Laden burns down one hut, and the Mayor's response is to raze the entire village in order to save it (as well as to invade and occupy Shelbyville, but that's another story...)

See, Osama and Co. could never destroy America. By its very nature, America is indestructible from without. Ten terrorists could detonate ten suitcase nukes in ten different American cities simultaneously, and they could not destroy America; only America can destroy America.

George, Osama thanks you.

posted by teh l4m3 at 7:45 AM | Permalink |

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Comments for Why Am I Linking To FOX News?
Kristolmethodists... so subversively descriptive, it's delicious.

also this call for his death penalty is really stupid. i mean, he was supposed to commit suicide on 9/11 right? so executing is gonna give him the satisfaction that he doesn;t deserve.

ardquydn: why is blogger making these things longer? is spam really that big a problemo?
  • Posted at 8:51 AM | By Anonymous Anonymous

brando: exactamente.

aif: i stoleded that one from RETARDO. Good, no?

and yeah, sometimes those things are ridiculously long...

Awesome. Just awesome.


From the Fox story:

Alice Hoagland, whose son, Mark, died on United Flight 93, said she understands the feelings of those families who wanted a death sentence for Moussaoui. But she said life in prison is a better testament to the morality of the United States' justice system.

"I understand their feelings and yes, maybe he does deserve to die," Hoagland told FOX News on Thursday. "But taking another human life is not going to bring us closure or satisfaction and we have demonstrated by sparing his life that we are a nation not just of justice and laws but also a nation of compassion and mercy."


Alice Hoagland made me cry on the evening of 9/11/2001, as I watched her talk on the news about her beautiful son. I think she's incredible.

Well, that kills my mood for making wisecracks.

I'm sending this to some people. Well said.

I wish you Americans would just give this Bush guy a chance; he seems like honest folks to me.

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