You Don't Have To Feel Bad Anymore!

Ore : 6:51 AM

...One coping strategy? Keep surfing the Internet!

Do perfect strangers studiously avoid eye contact when you attempt faltering, ill-advised overtures? Does the grocery deliveryman fail to broach small talk through the steel-reinforced receiving chute? Do hookers skip out with your wallet before the happy ending? Never fear, fleshbags: MSNBC is here with a few helpful tips!

- One often-effective cry for help?
Vicious, nearly violent passive-aggressive venting. That'll show those elitist jerks who made fun of your mass-internment proposals!

- Don't be afraid to exhibit neediness.
Bleg, bleg, and bleg! It's easy if you can get away with pretending you don't have a Lexis/Nexis account, or have ever even heard of Google!

- A more drastic approach? The future is
transhumanism! Simply eliminate those pesky mammalian desires for social acceptance once and for all by becoming a gleaming, clacking, unholy marriage of flesh and machine!

BRRRK! GAAAAK! HEHINDEED! 1011001000101011101...
(Glennbot graphic discourtesy of the highly unreliable hamsters who run Sadly, No!'s servers.)

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posted by teh l4m3 at 6:51 AM | Permalink |

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Comments for You Don't Have To Feel Bad Anymore!
I didn't feel bad before. Honest, I didn't.

Oh, I give up. I can never lie to you...

- Don't be afraid to exhibit neediness.

Dig it! Fearin' it got me to 41 w/ 2 ex-wives, more debt than I can recall "building" and a shitload of ex-friends w/ bigger problems than mine -and even less idea what to do about 'em!

Err, hmmm... maybe that ain't whatchya meant... Better go read Walcott.


(Hope you're NOT!NOT!NOT! enlisted!!!!!!!!!!)

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