Nov. 8th Pt. III: Caught With Their Shorts Down

Ore : 11:41 AM


Prop. 75: This is yet another salvo in the lingering battle between corporate America and its uppity serfs -- a battle even older than Bloody Thursday.

Of course, modern California Republicans, being as wussified as they are, don't have the stomach to break out the billy clubs and tommy guns. For that alone I suppose we should be grateful we don't live in Texas...

Besides, this particular shot makes Elmer Fudd look like a fucking expert marksman. They're essentially asking voters to require something that already exists. And they're reduced to working stale wedge issue #352, ("it's my money, dammit!"), apparently laboring under the delusion that there is a huge silent plurality of union members out there who were sucked into the nefarious folds of organized labor (presumably by the succulent, lurid appeal of Sally Field's breasts), and who didn't read the big, fat honkin' print allowing one to opt out of one's contributions being used for political purposes before signing up with their local shop stewards.

Even most suckers who fall for the abovementioned wedge issue will realize, if they're not themselves members of unions, that they should vote the way those anti-abortion folks who aren't obsessed with wielding iron-fisted control over the world's uteri do -- they'll vote no because it isn't "their fight."

The only people I expect to vote "yes" here are the hardcore scab-loving, CEO-jizz guzzlers.

Prop. 76 mostly speaks for itself:

Limits state spending to prior year's level plus three previous years' average revenue growth. Changes minimum school funding requirements (Proposition 98) [What do you bet Arnie will increase the minimum? -- ed.]. Permits governor, under specified circumtances, to reduce budget appropriations of Governor's choosing. Fiscal Impact: State spending likely reduced relative to current law, due to additional spending limit and new powers granted to Governor. Reductions could apply to schools and shift costs to other local governments.

Emphasis mine, cobaggery in the original. See this for sociopolitical context.

Prop. 77: Bluehair v. Wapner

You've gotta love the IOKYAR-ness of it all: The first ones to scream bloody murder about judicial activism are perfectly happy to enable it here. Go fig.

It's becoming embarrassingly easy to spot conservative-produced political commercials: chock-full of earnest, "real" people in jump-cutty close-ups. They're crabby. Exasperated. Snide, even. And you should be too, and here's why...Well, because, those people are supposed to represent you.

The biggest obstacle to the efficacy of these ad campaigns is that they tell you how you should feel. Any viewer whose vote is worth having must see those spokesmodels and instinctively recoil: no one wants to be seen as that nasty. After all, the level of venomous disgust expressed seems more suitable to discussing cannibalistic, Robert Novak-reading pedophiles than for school-teachers and firefighters.

Then, of course, there is the dogwhistle psychology: most ads seem to assume that the viewer is an avuncular, white, middle-aged heterosexual male property owner whose values and views towards women, minorities, and just about any economic or political issue you care to name ossified somewhere in Mayberry around the mid-1950s.

Sorry to break it to you, guys, but those kind of voters are about as common in California as rubbers are at Andrew Sullivan's swingin' pad.

Take the the old biddy in the pro-Proposition 77 advertisement. Please -- take her, tie her to some PCP freak's low-rider and drag her for about 20 blocks down Crenshaw. If you haven't seen the ad, it's a classic*: grandma, complete with cane, creosote soles, and a macrame shawl (!!!), paces up and down her front-yard path, grumbling vaguely about the worthlessness of elected representatives in a speech that would make Matt Groening's Krazy Kat Lady reach for the thorazine, as a soothing voiceover suggests that certain decisions, including those usually found in the bailiwick of the legislative branch of government, are best left up to appointed judges. Apparently, the bushy, graying eyebrows of the viewer are supposed to shoot up out of the smoke from his smoldering pipe, and he is expected to exclaim, while slapping his knee, "Ho, ho, ho, now there's a feisty old gal! Reminds me of Mom! I like what she's selling...," and then vote accordingly.

Good luck with that guys. Really.

Meanwhile, in the BLUE CORNER, we've got JUDGE MUTHAFUCKIN' WAPNER, BITCHES! He's here to smack some boot-lickin', power-worshipping, lying punk-asses down. He reminds the viewer, ever so classily (not to mention correctly), that giving judges powers normally reserved for the legislature is, well, not a little bit un-American. It's certainly un-Califonian.

Poor Golden State elephants: hope you remember that Doug Llewelyn does not offer door prizes.

*Typical tone-deaf Republican posturing.

posted by teh l4m3 at 11:41 AM | Permalink |

[ back home ]

Comments for Nov. 8th Pt. III: Caught With Their Shorts Down
Texas elephants are pussies too. They can only act tough...poking their chests out, moving methodically slow and talking with a deep voice. They are too ignorant to be crafty enough to overcome true resistance. All they have are the numbers, for now. They will be defeated.

Almost makes me miss the golden state. i DO miss the northern half, occasionally.

teachers are hoes.

mdhatter, northern california misses you.

PR: "U.N.I.T.Y..."

i admit i only made that comment so i could email it to a teacher friend of mine.

if i was capable of shame, i would feel it right now.

you may flog me with what's left of maria shriver's dignity.

Maybe we could start calling them Golden Shower Republicans.

Texas republicans can't actually take anybody in a fight. They generally only hunt with gigantic, automatic rifles and run around the Capital Building in DC looking for female and shorter, male representatives to bully into voting with the party. Just Bill "I'm the tallest pussy on the planet" O'Reilly.

These conservatives probably all take gang showers while hunting and surreptitiously glance at each other's asses and tiny. dangling penises, secretly wishing they could all just admit it to each other and have massive orgy. Self hate makes a person do crazy things. Like vote Republican and deny people the right to marry.

© 2006 Freedom Camp | Blogger Templates by and Gecko & Fly.
No part of the content or the blog may be reproduced without prior written permission.
Learn how to Make Money Online at GeckoandFly

Web This Blog
My Photo
Location: Camp X-Ray, Gitmo, Cuba

I know why the caged bird gets beaten.

Bulls, Bitches & Screws