Shocking True Confessions II!!!

11.13.2005
Ore : 9:41 PM

* I've given cigarettes to minors who've asked for them.

* Much comedy gold may be mined by adding captions to the horrible pictures of horrible looking realtors in realty catalogs. But I still feel bad after the inevitable "That's not even a transsexual -- that's just a man in lipstick and a bad wig!"

* I used to get goosebumps upon hearing Lee Greenwood's "God Bless The USA." I was 7, I think.

* I would do Mitch Pileggi.

* When I was a little kid watching Tranzor-Z, I used to fantasize about being robot Aphrodite, shooting pink missiles from my titties.

* During the 5th grade, I plagiarized part of a story that had appeared in Omni Magazine.

* I once spent the night with a guy who was obsessed (and I mean obsessed) with Cyndi Lauper. And who had a slightly off-putting gut-punching fetish.


* When a recent conversation with a relative stranger veered down a particularly nasty alley of Guyville, I allowed said stranger to continue thinking I was straight in order to avoid compounding awkwardness...

* I owe approximately $350 in back taxes.

* I'm currently smoking a King Edward the Seventh Ice Menthol cigar.

* I cry every time I watch The Color Purple.

posted by teh l4m3 at 9:41 PM | Permalink |

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Comments for Shocking True Confessions II!!!
King Edward the Seventh Ice Menthol cigar I pray to god that such a thing does not exist.

If it honesty hour, heres mine.
I used to buy booze and cigarettes for minors, claiming a small commission on top! I my dad says I could never be a businessman
Hah!

I think Mitch Pileggi could take Powers Boothe. But don't tell Powers Boothe I said that.

Tranzor-Z. Egad, you are a babe. When I was a kid, we had to adjust the rabbit ears so that we could watch "Space Giants" on UHF.

Gregor: Your god is laughing at you.

Peaky: No, but you'd make a very good crooked businessman.

CS: Verily, it would be a battle of the Titans; they could very well destroy large chunks of the Earth in their attempts to destroy each other...

I cry when I watch Color Me Barbara.
  • Posted at 8:15 AM | By Anonymous shingles

Ah, yes, but doubtless for slightly different reasons...

Those realtor photos always mystified me. Why do they bother? It's not like they ever look good in those things!

Now stop smoking! You're too important to the world!

Prince---->Fuck yeah. Don't get me started.Wait.. That's purple Rain. Nevermind

I enjoyed "Dances with Wolves."

Nolf, it took me a few minutes to get that...but I did!

This kid I knwo was totally entrapped by an undercover cop- my pal's just walking down the street, the "kid" proposes the crime, my friend buys the booze- totally busted. 950 buck fine. I love it when cops create criminal situations, they haven't decreased the criminal element, just increased it by one and punished that one.

I have the hots for Lassie.

PP: Agreed.

PupH: Lassie #3 was a mean bitch, IIRC.

King Edward the Seventh Ice Menthol cigar? Great googly-moogly that's got to taste like crap. Crapthat someone TRIED to make nice and mentholy n' stuff... does it make your lips burn?

everything else you confessed seems okeydoke by me... and I got no prob with the menthol cigar... I just don't understand, you know? be careful with those. they son't seem right

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