"What If..."

11.08.2005
Ore : 10:18 PM

I bring this up only because it's gone beyond the case of morality, or even "pragmatism".

Since George has constantly been in the news asserting "We do not torture..." even as Dick begs Congress to "Please, please, let us torture....", the "T" word has been ever present in the ADD-afflicted scope of the media. And the right's best defense of the practice, to date, has been The Hypothetical: "What if..." What if, right now, a backpack nuke was hurtling along AmTrak's ever-so-reliable rails towards Philly, and, with only 24 hours on the clock, the bomber's second cousin's sister-in-law, currently in custody at Super Duper Freedom With A Side Of Enlightenment Camp, was the only one who could provide the phone number with which Blackwater mercenaries could call her relative and ask him to "please, please, hop the train, and, as soon as you can, please disarm that jury-rigged ordnance, m'kay"? And what if she just didn't give it up? Not even with the FBI's and the Mossad's bestest, brightest Rasputins on the case, threatening with every breath to spread their menstrual syrup all across her face. Wouldn't you then, finally, accede that torture is really the only option? And, I mean, like, what if it worked? Like just in that Mel Gibson movie, or that Kiefer Sutherland show? Wouldn't you then be willing to shove an electrode up her defiant twat?

What? You wouldn't?!?!? Why do you hate America!

It's an awfully compelling construct, isn't it?

It strikes the same emotional keys as "What if I chip this flint rock just so?" or "What if one could create a stable Einstein-Rosen Bridge?" or "What if Negroes were given the same educational and social opportunites as Whites?" Oh, the endless possibilities! The untameable horizons!

Well, if I may be so bold, allow me to submit a hypothetical [apology to my random British readers for not supplying an "an."], if I may: WHAT FUCKING IF: The American Left were no longer there? No longer there to keep your beast and fowl and fish safe to eat? No longer there to keep the lead out of your chillun's drinkin' water? No longer there to ensure that your boss could not fire you for not "volunteering" to work a 20-hour day? No longer there to teach your children how to read even though you've lost your job? No longer there to change your grandmother's diapers now that she's got a problem with toilet ettiquiette? No longer there to argue your case in court when you've been wrongly accused? No longer there, for fucking example, to grab your stupid ass by the waistline when you've stupidly walked almost over the edge in order to pull you back from the brink of fiery self-destruction?

Well?

If 13-year old girls in Cali-FUCKING-fornia are compelled by law to get their jaws broken just for asking Daddy if they can get an abortion because, well, you know, it just isn't a spectacularly good time to be a mommy; if the federal government chooses to obey the letter rather than the spirit of the PATRIOT Act when seizing your oh-so-hard-won assets because you just happened to have answered the wrong fucking e-mail; if this administration does not get thrown en masse into the clink for all their manifold crimes against each and every one of us, you can assume the Left is out of it. Kaput. Gone.

You guys win. No more public transit, no more pesky "Clean Air" standards, no more 9th Amendment.

Happy now?

Stupid bitches.

posted by teh l4m3 at 10:18 PM | Permalink |

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Comments for "What If..."
Teh: solid and well put.

I lost in my voting too, but the parents earned a Democrat for Governor. I guess 1 out of 3 is all we got..
  • Posted at 7:11 AM | By Anonymous Adorable Girlfriend

So. Why do you hate America, anyway?

AG: Thanks and congrats to the 'rents.

Res: Vodka, that's why.

Without the American left there would be no one left to go to war.

So true. The right talks a good game, but who ends up supplying most of the warm bodies when America goes to war? You guessed it...

Good day for Tucson as two incumbent Republic City Council members were defeated handily (~60% to ~35%) by Democratic challengers. One of the incumbents (Fred Ronstadt - yes he's Linda's sister and yes that's the only reason he got elected in the first place) is a total tool and I adopted him as my personal most hated man in Tucson. Now he's gone....

The whole "what if" argument as relates to torture is just about the stupidest argument ever. First of all torture is probably one of the least reliable ways of getting good solid information. Second of all, if such a uniquely implausible set of circumstance does arise that requires torture to save innocent lives then the president should just order what needs to be done, take personal responsibility, and live with the consequences.

Sorry about the gay marriage issue in Texas. Maine turned out well though. It's a struggle, it's a fight but in the end we'll win.

Also sorry about the Ohio propositions.

Forgot to add my Kudos to your post. It was indeed excellent!

Gregor: Thanks! Yeah, it was hard not to see how that odious bit of legislature would not pass in Texas. But Res, in another post on his blog, is right to remind us that "it's not just Texas." It's still fun to pick on them, though ;D.

WORD!

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