Stupid Quiz

3.07.2006
Ore : 12:56 PM

Grumble grumble Otto grumble grumble.

1. Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 18 and find line 4

"...severe character defect. The sense of that ball, so anxiously..."

Bet you'll never guess where that came from. And it just happened to be on top of a pile that needs recataloguing, which is why it's the closest.

2. Stretch your left arm out as far as you can, what do you find?

The periodicals check-in file.

3. What is the last thing you watched on TV?

Um, something on the Hi(tler & UFOs)story Channel about sunken ships. Wasn't really paying attention.

4. Without looking, guess what time it is.

The right time... For makin' whoopie!

5. Now look at the clock, what is the actual time?

12:09.

6. With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?

Eef Barzelay singing "Ballad of Bitter Honey," as well as the heater fan. Oh, and trucks.

7. When did you last step outside? What were you doing?

An hour ago. I smoked a cigarillo.

8. Before you started this survey, what did you look at?

A comments thread at Sadly, No!

9. What are you wearing?

Black hoodie, black Carhartts, black hi-top All-Stars. And a greasy cock-ring.

10. Did you dream last night?

Yes. Something about me sucker-punching Avril Lavigne in her stringy uterus.

11. When did you last laugh?

When I saw your mom.

12. What is on the walls of the room you are in?

Years-old smears of fecal matter. Kidding. A calendar.

... A Mapplethorpe calendar. Heh, heh.

13. Seen anything weird lately?

You betcha.

14. What do you think of this quiz?

I think I'd like to find whoever wrote it, take his head, and stuff it in a hornet's nest.

15. What is the last film you saw?

Bring Me The Head of Alfredo Garcia

16. If you turned into a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy?

A ticket to ride... Oh, and some Eastern European rent boys.

17. Tell me something about you that I don’t know.

That I'm a virgin and a pathological liar.

18. If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt and politics, what would you do?

Provide Tom Sizemore with all the hookers, meth, and videotape his fucked-up little heart desires.

19. Do you like to Dance?

Only with other clean-cut, well-heeled white people.

20. George Bush.

Paris Hilton with a penis, a wife, and 30 more years.

21. Imagine your first child is a boy, what do you call him?

Fancy Lesleena Marie

22. Imagine your first child is a girl, what would you call her?

I would call her serruptitiously left in the wild to die of exposure.

23. Would you ever consider living abroad?

I already have.

24. What would you want God to say to you when you reach the pearly gates?

That Pat Robertson, James Dobson, Fred Phelps, and Jerry Falwell aren't invited.

25. 4 people who must also do this theme in their journal.

Fuck you I wouldn't inflict this on anyone else. Not even Joe Scarborough, Bill O'Reilly, Michelle Malkin, or SeanS!

Okay, I'm still begging. Please help a podunk little library provide its patrons with some some crap to read.

posted by teh l4m3 at 12:56 PM | Permalink |

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Comments for Stupid Quiz
I'm glad to see you enjoyed the quiz as much as I did.

By the way, as far as I'm concerned, the best part of Bring Me the Head... is seeing the gentler side of Sgt. Hulka.

Dude. You put some serious time into this quiz.

neener neener we got tagged with a way cooler quiz than you did!!!1!

Plus if you donate you get a deluxe thank you note from teh. Suitable for framing!

Teh, a little linky present to cheer you up.... http://www.azcentral.com/community/gilbert/articles/0307deputychief-sheep07-ON.html

I've got to admit, that's a better quiz than the type that the crazy lady in the office forwards me.

Or the ones my aunt forwards me that usually have a Christian theme to them.

Otto: I HATE YOU!

Smarty: Not really, no. Just a long time between writing and posting.

assparrot: So what, and kiss my ass.

Gregor: What a charming story! Thank you. I'll be sure to read it to the chillins for storytime.

Ron: Don't kid yourself. This one was terrifically LiveJournalesque. Mind, if you will, the unwillingness of the writer to write out the words for numbers smaller than 10.

Teh, you are a righteous dude. The quiz proves it.

Clem Snide!!!!!!!!!!!!

Why must you always call me out on my straightitude. Bitch. Slutfuck. Donkeydickstink. Fucker.

???

Yeah, I'm not sure either. I was on the corn juice last night. CHeck this out http://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID=17209891&postID=114179403322057896

Sorry a-boot Avril Lavigne. She needs to go away.

I had to Google "Carhartts" to find out what kind of pants they were. A whole bunch of the search results came up at this url (which I'm afraid to look at from work): http://www.grungeboys.com

Don't hate me because I'm beautiful.

Just sent "Last Letters Home" on your Amazon Wish List to your library as insurance that you will never tag me with such an awful survey!

Yay!!! YOU ROCK!!!

And no, I will never tag you, just for that. (Otto, take note!)

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