Why I Suddenly Care About Tucker Carlson

Ore : 5:30 PM

I know I shouldn't. After all, we're talking about a fluffy git, a loudmouthed clump of hair with the intelligence and dignity of a marmoset, who personally has a hand in getting 3,000 American servicemen and women killed in Iraq (not to mention the lord-knows-how-many Iraqis killed and wounded, and the scores of thousands of Americans wounded), who has been wrong about almost every single issue that has come out of his grinch-shaped, self-satisfied mouth -- a man who cheerleaded this war just long enough to make sure it happened -- a man who should not even have a career, and never would have were it not for Dick Carlson's apparent inability to keep his fly zipped.

So what does this
armchair jingoist-cum-mean girl, this fake journalist (for one thing, real journalists offer full disclosure), this scion of wealth and power, this Heritage Foundation noodge, do with all his influence and fame? He uses it to destroy a guy who slings videos to pay the rent.

One of the ugliest sins the powerful can commit is the
sin of pettiness. And boy, is Tuck Neverlastinglongatonejob petty.

Chuck deserves two things: an apology from Carlson, and a shot at his job back if he wants it (not that he would, but still...) But he'll get neither; we're dealing with a right-winger here, who as such pretty much operates as a soulless shill. The only thing people like him understand are vindictiveness and retaliation.

Nevertheless, I don't advocate revenge. Revenge is for the immature. I prefer a lesson. Tucker needs to be punished.

The prospect, however, I find taxing to my imagination. I mean, here's a guy whose most recent claim to fame was repeatedly biffing it on "Dancing With The Ill-Starred" -- to put it bluntly, shame is not an issue for this ninny.

So while I ponder what form his discipline should take, why not visit upon Chuckles some soothing love, and shoot Dick's Li'l Squirt an angry


I see London
I see Highgate
I see Chuckles's hateful orange

Apparently, the great big orange ass has sent someone to Chuckles's now-former place of employment -- someone claiming to be Tucker's legal representation (do lawyers accept Regnery pay chits as retainers now?) -- to harass Chuckles's now-former coworker for intimate personal details about Chuck. Tucker Carlson must fry!!!

PS In light of the fact that I've done so much heavy updating the past couple of days, and that I want to keep this post at the top for a while longer, I won't be posting again today, unless I feel like doing some Tucker googlebombing...

[Take 5 to
Pinko Punkhouse]

UPDATE DOS: Oops, almost forgot -- link dump (well, I was gonna post it then blogger went "BOOM!" -- gah!):

ALSO, SUPER DOOPER ALERT: Operation "Orange."

posted by teh l4m3 at 5:30 PM | Permalink |

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Comments for Why I Suddenly Care About Tucker Carlson
Well, I let Wonkette know.

I also guarantee that someone will go over the top (stupid) with an e-mail to him, and he'll use it as evidence that he was somehow vindicated.

i'm gonna submit that photo PP put up to the illustrated dictionary to put next to the definition of tool(slang)
  • Posted at 9:00 PM | By Anonymous almostinfamous

I will say here what I sent in an e-mail

"very uncool of you"

brevity people, brevity.

Short sentences, quick cadence, rapier civility and we have a chance at getting through the fog of 'i hate your tie' e-mails.

I do hate his tie.

Do you honestly believe he actually reads the e-mail? Hello, Interns?!! AG has not and will not send an e-mail. AG has no data to support the truth or untruth of Chuckdog's claims. Thus, AG will make no comments to T-bone.

It would be more effective to email the MSNBC bosses/editors complaining about Tucker harassing a working stiff. Forget emailing Tucker. He's not worth the virtual postage stamp.

Lesley, I agree. I'm going to MSNBC now.

"Never initiate contact with an orangutan. If orangutans attempt to contact you, retreat slowly and with dignity."

Seriously, this is unbelievable. Jon Stewart really underrepresented the depth of Carlson's dickishness.

Teh, thanks for the blog round ups.

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