Rubberneckers: Hola From Paradise!

Ore : 3:24 PM

Folks, recently I've been down on anti-gay Nazis, our Enron's-cock-sucking Governator, and Republitards in general. I'm currently on vacation, sipping tomato beers and celebrating a dear friend's birthday (damn this mutherfucker plays a lot of Arcade Fire), and as such, I'd like to offer a quick, brainless entry.

I call it my "faux LiveJournal" entry:

Killer Facts:

*5th Grade: my tube socks had THREE stripes, bitch. Ain't no cheap-ass J.C. Penney shit up in here. Word.

*Booze and weed really do encourage intellectual laziness. Sorry, dirty hippies, but you're going to need more discipline if you're going to combat the Jonah Goldbergs and Ann Coulters of the world.

*Never interpose yourself in a girl fight. As a gay man, I enjoy "catfights" in the abstract -- specifically, on Wonder Woman, Cleopatra Jones, Buffy, etc. But when real women really fight in real life? I neither enjoy it and watch it for sport (I'm looking at you, you goatee sporting, backwards cap-wearing, Teva-flopping 'dudes'), nor do I get involved, as a concerned citizen. Either call the cops or let the bitches kill each other.

And no, it's not cute.

*Anyone (cough, cough) want to review a proposal for a sci-fi book I wrote? No, didn't think so.

Okay, kids, enjoy the hot-ass weather. I'm fixin' to get as dark as bread crust up in this bitch.

posted by teh l4m3 at 3:24 PM | Permalink |

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Comments for Rubberneckers: Hola From Paradise!
Aww mang..maketh me as dark as a bread crust too..this effin sun is just not doing the trick.
Sci-Fi book??..elaborate please..telleth me morrrree!
Miss Whythefuckamistillsopoor?

never got the girl-fighting thing. same with girls going wild.

1. I dig Arcade Fire

2. Tomato Beer!?!

3. Cat fights: Don't happen in real life. A fight between two girls is not choreographed like the fights on soap operas, so a real life girl fight is as messy and unfortunate as any guy fight. And no, I've never been in one.

Can't say the same for "going wild," I guess, if it is defined as flashing boob for no apparent reason. Never on camera or for plastic jewelry, but hey, you only live once, right?

1. So do I, but one can have too much of a good thing.

2. Take your average pisswater American lager. Put a shot of tomato juice (or better yet, V8) in a frosted beer glass. Top off with 12 oz. of said pisswater. Dee-lish!

3. I was using the term as loosely defined.


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