Kaye Loves DP, Hates Thesaurus

1.08.2006
Ore : 5:07 PM

I can't believe it took me two days to notice the latest from Our Savagely Upholstered Lady of Ungrammar.

Oh, wait, yeah I can.

Anyway, Krazy Kaye is back with one of her most boring columns ever. It's just a few randomly assembled pro-death penalty cliches, the tedium alleviated only by her use of a style guide she apparently purchased second-hand from a Klingon bookstore.

People on death row denied mercy to those they killed, so why should they be granted clemency years after the fact? Death row inmates have had years (at the expense of taxpayers) to go through a process of appeals in the hopes their death sentence will be updated to life in prison without parol status. The appeals process extends the lives of convicted killers many years beyond what should be acceptable for the punishment to be carried out. During this time the victims fade into the background, while sympathy grows for the killer/killers.

See what I mean? Appeals to sympathy and vengeance, and later on, some shifting of burden of proof, some elision of the whole rate of exoneration thing, a touch or two of dementia -- even a statistic pulled out of her wrinkly ass.

But that's not to say there aren't chuckles*...

Proponents of the death penalty don't understand the need for the ultimate punishment for murderers...

"Yes, Alex, I'll take antonyms for $200."

...because they are living in a dream world on the assumption that most hardened criminals can be rehabilitated and they won't ever be a victim.

That's exactly right, Kaye; that is what drives most opponents of the death penalty. And by "exactly right," I mean sadly, nyet!

And that's just my opinion!

Yeah! You should hear what that homeless old junky at the end of the bar said!

*This post dedicated to a certain freelance genius.

posted by teh l4m3 at 5:07 PM | Permalink |

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Comments for Kaye Loves DP, Hates Thesaurus
The line Kaye travels has a slope of zero, thus it is impossible to determine when she reaches a new low, because solving y=f(x) df(x)/dx=0 gives the equation y=k where k is a constant. Or some such bullshit.

Precisely.

How are you PP? I'm having chili tonight for dinner, and look forward to being disappointed yet again with the Simpsons. I don't know why I bother any more.

No one comes to my blog, either. This bites. I need to inject my brain with fascination juice, or something...

the mathematical logic of kaye groganity is directly proportional to the amount of LSD currently eating your brain.

teh, the reason people have blogs is that they DON't get read. if they did, we'd all have to be creative like S,N! or 3B! or ROD or the poorman or whoever is the new it blog.

i've had about 6 different blogs and finally settled on 2 and maybe now i'll get some readers and/or commenters. although i think we all know the answer

I dont love the blog thing anymore. I like having conversations and comments and stuff. That is why the trend will be toward group blogs or the like. When Three Bs! moves to something with more technology we're gonna post the RSS feeds of the gang on the front page. That is the next wave. I feel like I have to do work to keep everyone interested, but 3B! is more a clubhouse than a content location. I don't feel I can put on my serious pants on the same way you can. It somehow goes against the aesthetic that is expected. Nor can I indulge many other subjects. So 3B! is a little restrictive. You guys are what makes me keep doing it. Just seeing what you'll come up with next. I really like that people come to our place to check in a lot. It does mean that I have kind of stopped exploring the internet. I have my little circle to cultivate and I don't want it to feel like a job. I just want to hang out with my guys. (and gals)

Keeping in my mind that I'm somewhat ambivalent about the death penalty, I still feel like it's used entirely too much.

My point being that there was a guy executed recently here in Texas that was most likely innocent.

If they screwed up on that one, well, how many others have they executed who were innocent?

Probably quite a few.

The joy of blogging: A few of my blogging friends have just skipped the blog portion of blogging and started a forum. There's a link on my site, ahem. And if you are interested, I managed to use a form of the word blog 5 times in this comment!

Smartypants: that is pretty much the primary sticking point, isn't it? No one should have to die for a mistake made by the state.

There are other good, mostly utilitarian arguments against, but this seems to be the most obvious, and the one that can get the most people on board.

indy: THat's a record!

I just noticed that Kaye "has many published poems." They must be awesome! Does anyone know where I can find them?
  • Posted at 8:49 AM | By Anonymous evenfl0w

You can find her poems in The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. She's is one of the planet Vogon's greatest minds.

hedzhro: Overheard at a bar: No, baby, I swear, I'm hedzhro...he was jushta fling!

I noticed also she's an award-winning photographer and has a radio show. I'd love to meet one of her listeners.

vjfjre - Norweigan euphemism for an STD contracted on VJ Day.

Except for the ones with the crappy photoshop effects, her photographs are not too horrendous. Some of them are even good. Her radio show, on the other hand, must be a hoot. I must hear it!
  • Posted at 9:35 AM | By Anonymous evenfl0w

I can almost hear the ellipses, slashes, and em-dashes...

fnawfdds: Welsh dentists.

I am a lot behind the ball today. I just now got the DP reference. To teh, I say, well done, sir, well done.

That's how I take my burgers. get crackin.

afzat: um, Field Marshall, would you like to field this one?

PS: What is with the third reich-esque military titles with the conservochumpwagonwadbag bloggers?

Finally! Someone got the title.

And who else would it be but chuckles?

I figured either everyone was too polite and mature, or I'm the only sicko pr3vert out there...

Well, you're not the only s1ck0 p3rv3rt, but that's all I am saying on that subject.

lqeeu: The sound girls make upon finding their boyfriend's porn.

Donkey Punch?
  • Posted at 9:24 AM | By Anonymous shingles

Donkey Punch is so state college frat-boy. We more worldly men enjoy Double Penetration.

Who doesn't enjoy a good Double Penetration these days.

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