Happy New Year's Eve

12.31.2005
Ore : 9:30 AM

I'm hunkering down with this one. Amid computer problems and busyness at work and just a general takin care of business, I've also decided to build an enormous boat and gather two of every animal.

For now, here are some of my resolutions (I do very well with these):

*Get a driver's license
*Promote the hell out of my library branch
*Travel more
*Get more schoolin'
*Do more baking (get your mind out of the pipe, Pop)
*Start Mandarin classes
*Make my garden grow
*Improve my marksmanship
*Kill that fucking dog if it ever comes on my property again (it's killed several of my and the neighbors' cats, so no "aww, the puppy!" shit please)
*Stop getting into fights
*Finish my novel
*Deliver Henry Kissinger to the Hague
*Discover a cure for Republicanism/ wingnutism/ conservatarianism/ "libertarianism"/ objectivism/ royalism/ sociopathy/ whatever
*Win the lottery
*Beef up my karaoke skillz

Some of these are definitely outliers, but what the hay? Let's shoot for the stars, man.

posted by teh l4m3 at 9:30 AM | Permalink |

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Comments for Happy New Year's Eve
Our car got chased by the meanest Chocalate lab I have ever seen in Kentucky on some back road. What do you know, he had his full complement of testicles. A-holes.

Remind me to tell you a library story about Kentucky. I was g*d dinged outraged.

Okay, so I'm reminding you: what's the story?

Well, it's probably not enough fo4r a post, and I can use foul langauge here, so here it is.

GC's fam, the Colacular Brood, not to be confused with Cloacular, which is my new word, courtesy of fulsome, does not have teh internets. It is their tradition to have a "White Elephant" present swap and we had ordered some lovely gag gifts a month prior to be shipped to the Colacular Estate. These had not arrived. We wished to call the company in question, a company that we will rip a new asshole shortly. So we piled into the car and went to the pretty, new country county library. We jsut walked in and they assigned us computers, didn't even need a library card, which was nice. I surreptitiously checked Three Bulls! of course, but no comments, no contest entries, nothing. GC looks up the companies name (she hadn't quite remembered it) finds their web address (it is gag gift company) and finds it is blocked by the library's filter. There is a notice that says if something is blocked you can ask the librarian to check the filter and override it in certain instances. GC goes over to Jabba the Inbred Fucking Hutt and asks her to come over and review the filter screen and ask her to override the filter, explaining the type of webpage it was and that it was not pornographic and that she merely needed to get contact info off of the site. The librarian replied that they never overrode the filter. I know it is a library's perogative to have wht they wish in their collections, but I was kind of pissed. I felt like she was some godbag pharmacist saying that she refused to dispense the morning after pill. It was such a cobag thing to do. She didn't even consider it- it was as if she never had a thought in her head about what her job means, and what discretion could possibly mean.

GARGGHG, it chapped my hide. I should have just booted up Freedom Camp on the other 7 computers and said "well, the FILTER says JD's cock is fine, but a company that sells whoopee cushions is rightfully out"

Improve my marksmanship

Concentrate on proper breathing and trigger squeeze...the rest will come natural.

Stop getting into fights

Why take all the fun out of life? There are a lot more wingnuts out there!

I used to speak Mandarin Chinese...not.

HAPPY NEW YEAR MY FRIEND!

HAppy HEW year!

i would also like to improve my karaoke skills along with winning the lottery.

Happy New Year!

I don't make resolutions but I'd like to do more volunteering this year.

PP: "The librarian replied that they never overrode the filter. I know it is a library's perogative to have wht they wish in their collections, but I was kind of pissed."

No, that was some majorly inbred right-wing stupid-ass hick shit. Yes, we have the same filters, for community standards, but if someone is 18 or over, then we lift the filters -- that simple. Now, I've refused to allow patrons to view adult material when minors are present, but that's different... Yes, that was stupid, and you were right to be pissed. She had no reason not to remove those filters, except for sheer perversion and laziness (removing them is a bit of a chore...)

Elmo: "Concentrate on proper breathing and trigger squeeze"

Yes, a lot like archery in that way. Which is fine (I'm a master archer). It's just that residual squeamishness that I, twenty years after first having picked up a gun, still have -- that gun-shy, anticipatory jerkiness...But I'm working in it (much easier with rifles than pistols.)

She seriously acted like GC asked to drink some human blood and then start downloading bukakke, but I always forget what that is.

Bukakke is kind of like drinking human blood, but with one crucial, misogynistic difference.

Oh my god teh! Are you a librarian?!? I may have to totally rethink my adolescent sexual orientation decisions!

How do you look in granny glasses and a short skirt?

Happy New Year!

It's not that misogynistic if the soggy biscuit is a guy...

Is it androgynistic?

I think I am missing somethign here.

You bring up a good point, teh. In that case, I guess, it's agynistic. Or Hyperandristic?

Anyway, happy new year!

Chuckles, yes, you are missing something. And be glad of it.

Auguste: Hyperandrophilic? Hmmm...I'm at a loss. I could probably think more clearly without all this spooge in my eye...

Has anyone seen Pat lately?

No.

PP: Same is true for the library I am on the board for. We lift the filter and don't bother. It is however up to the board to determine Internet policies. They should clearly be posted and represent the local communties' standards and beliefs.

Hey teh, how do you handle the Patriot Act requirement that you track patron usage?

AG: Our current circulation db doesn't scrubs records of those things...what, we were supposed to keep track? [looks innocent] Oh, darn.

Improve my marksmanship
Stop getting into fights


Doing the first one will take care of the second! [/lgf]

As for the Karaoke issue, learn from a master - all Michael Jackson and Meil Diamond all the time. The crowd will eat it up. And Karaoke is all about pleasing the crowd. "Sweet Caroline" rocks the karaoke bar everytime.

Rebels. NY State is tough on us. We are also exclusively tax funded and must follow the law. We get around it by recording patrons loans for no more than two weeks. There is no time requirements.

Stupid Patriot Act! Like the terrorists are going to get a book like Terrorism for Dummies.

I'd be curious if you know what others do.

**Do more baking (get your mind out of the pipe, Pop)

wow - get outta my head.

**Kill that fucking dog if it ever comes on my property again (it's killed several of my and the neighbors' cats, so no "aww, the puppy!" shit please)

SHOOT THAT FUCKER.

**Beef up my karaoke skillz

karaoke is for pussies - get on a real stage...but yeah, neil diamond fucking kills. sing "america" where you live and you won't pay for drinks all night. i cannae do karaoke unless i am PISS drunk.

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