Merry Christmas

Ore : 4:20 PM

In my final nuclear deathblow to all things Christmas, I will share with you the fact that Vestal Vespa has tagged me with a goddamn muthafuckin' meme! I HATE YOU ALL!!!

Just kidding. Happy Holidays!

Seven Things To Do Before I Die:

1. Publish a novel
2. Learn to speak fluent Mandarin
3. Knock Jonah Goldberg's teeth in
4. Climb to the peak of Sri Pada
5. Hump Alex Despatie for an entire week
6. See all my enemies get their comeuppance
7. See my brother become a father

Seven Things I Cannot Do:

1. The splits
2. Play piano
3. Stay calm in the presence of hornets
4. Eat natto
5. Quit smoking
6. Fire someone
7. Drive

Seven Things That Attract Me to...Blogging:

1. Anger
2. Love
3. Because nasty, foul-ass, immoral people blog and there should be some balance
4. Cute guys
5. An inability to shut up
6. Inspiration
7. Laffs

Seven Things I Say Most Often:

1. "Fuck you, bitch."
2. "That's hella stupid."
3. "I'm hungry."
4. "Suck it up."
5. "Where's my lighter?"
6. "Clearly, you have sand in your vagina."
7. "No teeth!"

Seven Books That I Love:

1. Peter Hoeg, "Borderliners"
2. Charlotte Bronte, "Villette"
3. Sylvia Plath, "Ariel"
4. Toni Morrison, "Song of Solomon"
5. Lao Zi, "Tao Te Ching" (I'm somewhat partial to the Stephen Mitchell version...)
6. Francoise Sagan, "A Certain Smile"
7. David Sedaris, "Naked"

Seven Movies That I Watch Over and Over Again

1. Ferris Bueller's Day Off
2. Grave of Fireflies
3. Freeway
4. The Life of Oharu
5. MST3K: "Sidehackers"
6. Dark Crystal
7. Men in Back

Seven People I Want To Join In Too (I'm stopping this shit right here. Sorry, VV -- I hate memes!)

1. Buddha
2. Jesus
3. Lee Atwater
4. Sun Tzu
5. Benvenuto Cellini
6. Divine
7. John Holmes

posted by teh l4m3 at 4:20 PM | Permalink |

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Comments for Merry Christmas
THANK YOU for not tagging other people, whether I would have been one of them or not.

Your welcome. And you know what? YOU PROBABLY WOULD HAVE BEEN! HA!

Merry Christmas, Jess.

Grave of Fireflies!?!

I love that movie! Now I have to get a blog and memetag other religious/mythical icons. Gorgon Sisters, you're next! Oh, stop it, Zeus, I'll do you, too!

Wow, Jesus and I like the same sad movies. I don't know what to believe now.

1) You should see Uncanny around a bee.

2)I loved Borderliners- that and the first 2/3 of "Smilla's Sense of Snow" that guy has talent, too bad he has all those weird novels.

Final Sacrifice=better

Oh, chuckles, we'll always have Shurayukihime.

PP: A History of Danish Dreams was in no way weird!

VV: Eegah=best
Prince of Space=bester
Red Zone Cuba ("Are you there, guard? It's me, MAHGARET")=bestest!

Sorry, guys!

I got you both beat.

The Attack of the the Eye People = Awesome

Firemaidens of Outer Space = Awesomest(it made winde come out fountaining out of my Mom's nose)

sxqgrk: Crow short circuiting.

I meant wine, not winde. They are both funny.

Ooh... Alexandre Despatie... délicieux! OuiOuiOui!

I'm so glad to know I'm not alone in the Cult of the Sidehackers. That MST3K episode is fucking brilliant.

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