Chronicles of Riddick: Mini-Review

8.09.2006
Ore : 4:31 PM

Passably entertaining. Tight production values as science fiction and science fantasy go. Dame Dench could have done better, but "Chronicles..." couldn't have. Vin Diesel is underrated as an actor. I mean, the whole bad-ass mofo thing is not who he is (i.e. a cuddly, D&D-loving teddy bear and family man), it's a performance he pulls off with aplomb. The pic is marred somewhat by Karl Urban's Vaako. The guy stretches his talent too thin in grasping for gravitas -- it's like watching someone try to use a whippet to fill a dirigible. And while, yeah, there's the cutie factor, it's eclipsed by the strong suspicion that he smells like Doritos and gym-socks.

The real treat here is Thandie Newton. Girlfriend chews scenery like nobody's bidness. Folks, thank your lucky stars that
so few drag queens do skiffy: could you imagine The Stud stuffed full of trannies in gold-ornamented, upswept 'dos and painted-on lamé gowns, all posturing vogueishly at each other while screaming, "Flawless, BITCHES!!!"?

I know I can, and it's a future we would do well to avoid... Which I suppose makes "Chronicles..." a decent cautionary tale, as well.

posted by teh l4m3 at 4:31 PM | Permalink |

[ back home ]

Comments for Chronicles of Riddick: Mini-Review
I want Andy Samberg to make a rap song about it.

Chronicles of Riddick was two movies trying to be one. I'll have to dig up my old review and post it to Reviews N Stuff.

Karl Urban was much better in The Truth About Demons from his days in New Zealand. NetFlix that, it is pretty damn good. Like Lovecraft good.

chuckles: terribly sorry about that. I remembered your review like, two seconds after I hit "Publish Post." I could have gone back and changed it, but I got busy. Clearly, though, your review was more valuable.

As for the "two movies trying to be one thing," all I can say is that I have very very low expectations for this genre. I'm not about to make a big deal about anything, really...

I was just watching that last night. If only they could ever make that third movie in the epic Riddick trilogy.

I hear that the Riddick game Escape from Butcher Bay is actually fun to play though.

And I will admit that I enjoy this movie. If only because we all agree that Nick Chinlund is our Michael Ironsides.

"could you imagine The Stud stuffed full of trannies in gold-ornamented, upswept 'dos and painted-on lamé gowns, all posturing vogueishly at each other while screaming, "Flawless, BITCHES!!!"?"

The Stud....mmmmm, mmmmm
9th and Harrison, right?

Tranny Shack. Tuesday nights. Heklina throwing drinks at cute boys, and Timmy Spence stripping and spraying colostomy bags full of chocolate pudding into the audience. Awww, yeah...

Nothing says "good times" like colostomy bags full of chocolate pudding.

© 2006 Freedom Camp | Blogger Templates by layoutstudios.com and Gecko & Fly.
No part of the content or the blog may be reproduced without prior written permission.
Learn how to Make Money Online at GeckoandFly


Web This Blog
My Photo
Name:
Location: Camp X-Ray, Gitmo, Cuba

I know why the caged bird gets beaten.


Bulls, Bitches & Screws