The Hermit of Stink Hollow

11.08.2008
Ore : 5:08 PM

No. Absolutely Not.


David Brooks, Tom Brokaw, Brit Hume, et alia can kiss the American people's collective ass. The country has spoken, leaving Barack Obama under no obligation to nominate a Likudnik colonialist to head the Department of Defense, a creationist oil lobbyist to the Department of the Interior, or a parks-his-RV-at-Wal-Mart zygote licker to the Supreme Court.

We won, bitches. Get over it.

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posted by teh l4m3 at 5:08 PM | Permalink | 2 be jibber-jabberin'

Post-Debate Analysis, One Sentence

10.08.2008
Ore : 9:45 AM

Shorter Tom Brokaw: "Sit down, boy!"

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posted by teh l4m3 at 9:45 AM | Permalink | 2 be jibber-jabberin'

Post-Coital Cigarette

10.03.2008
Ore : 8:54 AM

Three thoughts:

1. From the front page of our local fishwrapping AKA The San Francisco Chronicle: "No game-changing moments in highly anticipated debate." Duh: Most viewers came away with their impressions intact that Biden is a smart if occasionally mistake-prone guy, and that Sarah Palin is in over her head.

2. Apropos that last bit: despite CNN polls showing most viewers thought Biden won the debate, pundits are still spinning it that Palin triumphed because she didn't lick Gwen Ifill's face after dropping her drawers and taking a dump onstage. File under Saw That Coming A Mile Away.

3. Cheney is a one-off, and has hardly set a precedent for redefining and aggrandizing immense amounts of power and influence to the Vice Presidency; this is still a position whose biggest responsibilities include breaking a tied vote in the Senate and looking frumpy at funerals. These guys aren't running for Master of the Universe -- Palin, if McCain proves victorious, wouldn't wield the power possessed by Evil-Lyn's hairdresser. Let's keep perspective, people.

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posted by teh l4m3 at 8:54 AM | Permalink | 2 be jibber-jabberin'

Conflict of Interest

10.01.2008
Ore : 10:23 AM


How can we expect this crafty negress to fairly moderate a debate in which one of the participants is a running-mate to a fellow jigaboo about whom she's written what must surely be a laudatory book? That's like asking Charlie Gibson to interview Governor Palin.

J'accuse, MSM!

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posted by teh l4m3 at 10:23 AM | Permalink | 2 be jibber-jabberin'

Glibertarian Type 4, Tier 8 -- D-List

8.26.2008
Ore : 7:33 AM

Several thoughts upon "discovering" Robert Stacy McCain's blahg:

- His tag reads "Award-winning columnist, reporter, editor, author, bon vivant and raconteur." First, I'd like to know which awards he's won besides a booger-encrusted gold star from Instapundit's crotchlings. Second, I'm sure there's no such thing as an award for a raconteur -- certainly, I can't imagine such an award being doled out to someone who has the temerity to label himself one. And third, anyone who calls himself a bon vivant is just admitting to a case of raging, incorrigible alcoholism.

- Immediate impression is of a coverless, dog-eared, yard-sale paperback version of PJ O'Rourke (who himself hasn't been funny since the year I was born.)

- Another glibertarian: tolerates the hypocritical, finger-wagging scolds among his fellow travelers for the sake of political expediency, but likes his controlled substances and what he thinks passes for humor (and it does, among the knuckledraggers with whom he canoodles.) Just wishes all the niggers except for Alan Keyes would go away.

- An example of his rakish, cocked-elbow, Buckley-eyebrowed humor: "The Women's Caucus. Imagine me in a roomful of liberal women, some of them possibly heterosexual. Frightening." Analysis: any humor contained therein is purely unintentional -- frightened of possibly heterosexual women? I'm shocked, really. Of course, he meant "BWA-HA-HA LIBERAL DEMONCRAT WOMEN ARE BIG BULLDYKES HAHAHA" -- but then, what is he, a sophisticate, or a Delphi Forums troglodyte? Then again I often find myself more comfortable around lesbians, but I'm a huge faggot.

- "Stacy"? How unfortunate. My condolences.

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posted by teh l4m3 at 7:33 AM | Permalink | 2 be jibber-jabberin'

Ari Fleischer and the Bushies

5.29.2008
Ore : 8:27 AM

After seeing Ari play the concern troll for McClellan, and the lower level surrogates and operatives do the same (usually shaded with insulting subtexts) on Blitzer and King yesterday, it reminds me that many, if not most, in the Bush Administration are held there by the "Roy Cohn" effect. In other words: "We're puzzled and hurt that you would do this Scotty, because you're our close, personal friend [ie, we know a hell of a lot about you], so heed this warning: start renouncing your own book or we produce the gay hooker whom you've been paying for kinky furry yiffing in public parks."

A nasty, nasty lot, all of them.

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posted by teh l4m3 at 8:27 AM | Permalink | 3 be jibber-jabberin'

Spin The Wheel, Raggedyman

4.14.2008
Ore : 3:57 PM

I, whose generation grew up watching road warriors and killer comets and all sorts of post-apocalyptic fun, am nevertheless shocked that within my lifetime I'd see the beginning of global food riots...

Remember, kids: Aim for the head!

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posted by teh l4m3 at 3:57 PM | Permalink | 3 be jibber-jabberin'

Discussed On The 'Tubes A Billion Times, But Just To Be Clear...

3.28.2008
Ore : 5:24 PM

...This is a "dog bites man" story not only because the subject is a Republican, (a political party from whom everyone who isn't brain-dead has expected this kind of behavior since the '70s), and not only because this is a Bush Administration hire, but because the subject is one of those "Cuba libre" nutballs, almost all of whom are naturally criminal -- often such clowns are involved with or are supportive of the mafioso against whom Castro and his followers originally complained.

Let's face it: your average, normal American doesn't give a flying fuck about Cuba, and certainly doesn't view Fidelland's sheer existence as an existential threat to everything America is. In pracitice, any American who cares enough to actively and vociferously oppose Cuban Communism is usually a proto-fascist who's a breath away from singing the praises of Batista (but only in the safe confines of Grover Norquist's living room.) Really, the most notable parts of this story are a) it weirdly segues into that silly plagiarism story (apparently, almost as bad as getting blown in the Oval Office), and b) that it was so poorly investigated yet published nevertheless.

Just who is editing for AP anyway? Since when did journalists and editors stop giving a goddamn about the whole "who, what, when, where and why" thing? All around, just a very odd story.

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posted by teh l4m3 at 5:24 PM | Permalink | 6 be jibber-jabberin'

Hello Nasty

10.05.2007
Ore : 1:11 PM

I too am both bored and disgusted with the so-called dialogue, currently a blip in the national discourse, about flag lapel pins. But it once again highlights the real one-sidedness of discussion -- specifically, that one side has a glut of voices willing to be as vile as possible, whereas the other side has this irritating compulsion to almost always take the high road. Note to Senators Obama and Clinton, as well as to the few Jack Caffertys (so professional!) and Jon Stewarts (so self-deprecating and fair!) usually working our side: That schtick don't work.

Every time a prominent liberal or Democrat takes a noble, morally superior position, to which they seem always to aspire, it blows up in their faces. On KGO this morning, Ed Baxter and a guest (a former Nixon employee!) discussed the flag pin issue, and Obama and Clinton's quotes (Kennedyesque and slyly dismissive, respectively) seemed to play right into typical centrist/lazy corporate journalist hands. At one point, even after the guest all but admitted that for years Republicans had been hiding behind ostentatious displays of patriotism such as the flag pins, he and Baxter seemed (almost purposefully) to miss the point made by Obama and the point implied by Clinton, and chose instead to accuse Obama of making the flag-flaunting a partisan issue ("Why can't we just wear the pins and say, 'I'm an American and this is America' without making it a partisan thing?"), and even had Chris Matthews-esque fun with Senator Clinton's response of "Sometimes," to whether she wears the pin ("Yes, of course she'd say that." Flipflopconventionalwisdomnudgenudgehawhaw.)

Senator Obama in particular needs to do more than thicken his armor, he needs to sharpen his claws. When asked a question that reminds one of the Republican penchant for using bunting to hide a whole host of evils, it's not enough to tastefully echo
Sinclair Lewis and exhort potential voters to pay less attention to what he's not wearing. It's time to make the opposition and the Maureen Dowds and Tim Russerts afraid of him for a change. It's time to openly quote Sinclair Lewis, and accuse the Republicans of using the stars and stripes as a shield from behind which to launch an entirely un-American agenda, replete with torture, indefinite detention, extraordinary rendition, Constitution-shredding, and everything else their putrid little conservative brains have thought up. It's time to make our own accusations of treason.

It's beyond time for more of us to get as nasty with the opposition as they've been with us.

To wit: Somebody should have mentioned to certain airship manufacturers that lithium, though one of the lightest elements in the periodic table, isn't the ideal buoyant filling for certain bags of gas. Nevertheless, der Zeppelin Limbaugh continues to limp along a few hundred feet above the earth, sagging, inebratiedly lurching, but never quite crashing. Sure he's helped by the usual suspects, his fellow right-wing bags of hot air, as well as by the refusal of the corporate media (of which he is a part) to pay more than glancing attention to what would be in any other public figure career-killing character flaws, but he's also aided by a secret asset: opposition that has for too long remained far more civil to him than he deserves, considering his track record. Outside of Al Franken,
The Rude Pundit, and a few flyspecks such as yours truly, we have -- what? -- Keith Olbermann sternly wagging his finger.

We need the few schoolmarms we have -- the smart and justly moralizing Glenn Greenwalds have their place and provide a valuable service, and indeed we need more of them -- but what we really need is a multimedia echo chamber as vicious and relentless as a school of piranhas, or as the Right's. We need teeth (and not a moment too soon, judging from this
very lame defense of Limbaugh's "phony soldiers" smear by John Gibson and Ann Coulter; there is definitely blood in the water.)

I understand it's difficult: everyone knows he's a drug-addicted, hypocritical liar. Even his fans. Nothing's been able to shoot down this bird, despite all the ammunition provided: chickenhawkery, the vilest expressions of racism, Oxycontin (and the God Mammon knows what other drugs), sympathy for domestic terrorists.

But there's one story I wish had really stuck, and it's one that bears repeating: In 2006, Rushie-poo was busted coming off a flight from the Dominican Republic because a bottle of Viagra on his person was labeled as a prescription for his doctor. Big deal you say (and as many of his right-wing apologists did), but here's the disgusting meme that needs perpetuating: When a balding, middle-aged, gluttonous, porcine white guy vacations with a bottle of Viagra, it's because he's going as a sex tourist. When a sex tourist chooses the Dominican Republic or Thailand over, say, the Netherlands or Nevada, it's because he wants to fuck little brown children. He wants to sweat over and thrust his half-limp johnson into poverty-stricken tots whose situations and pimps give them no choice but to say "yes" to whatever the wealthy, drug-addled, horrifyingly real-life Eric Cartman wants.

Yeah, that's the swell kind of guy we want beamed over the airwaves by American Forces Radio, subsidized by the American taxpayer.

See, when you read his books, when you listen to or purchase airtime during his shows, when your business buys commercial space on his web site, or when you defend him in public speeches or in conversation (Gibson, Coulter, et alia) for any reason, you are abetting and supporting pedophilia and sexual slavery. How does that taste?

(Considering those are also my tax dollars, I can honestly say it tastes a little bit like rancid pork.)

I guess what I'm saying is, where are more blog posts, columns, and on-air editorials in this tenor?

Here's a current opportunity for meanness: the Republican response to Democratic criticisms of George Bush's handling of the SCHIP issue wasn't a defensive response, but a typically offensive one: "How dare you exploit children in your ads for partisan gain?" they ask with feigned indignation. Nobody should be defending that, or even stopping at "You guys do it, too." We should be attacking in return: "So what if children are used in ads to benefit children, and in the process, some politicians get a boost? George Bush's career is in part predicated on killing children outright; here, by depriving them of what they need, and abroad by simply bombing, shooting, and burning them. Which side would you rather be on?"

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posted by teh l4m3 at 1:11 PM | Permalink | 0 be jibber-jabberin'

I Stole This From The Internet

6.08.2007
Ore : 2:11 PM


Now that's what I call one lucky couch!

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posted by teh l4m3 at 2:11 PM | Permalink | 4 be jibber-jabberin'

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