"Up To And Including Organ Failure"

2.28.2007
Ore : 8:25 AM

Oops!
(Perhaps it would help to view this post in light of the fact that the disinction the talking heads among our media make between a hate crime and terrorism is an almost meaningless one -- that is to say, they usually make their distinctions on a case-by-case basis, ad hoc: occasionally, because the victims are fewer than a score in number, but more often because the victims are of a group perceived as protected, or because the perpetrators are white Americans. Nevertheless, and the language of virtually all hate crime legislation reflects this, a hate crime against, say, a Hmong American is by definition intended to terrorize all Hmong Americans, just as 9/11 was a sort of hate crime against anyone born in this country, as well as any foreigner who works in, or with, or otherwise supports America.)

Now, I have never heard of any murderous gay-bashers or bomber of black Baptist churches
being held for years with no right to due process, in secret locations where they'd most likely be tortured. As satisfying though it might have been, Timothy McVeigh wasn't black-bagged and shipped to Uzbekistan to hang from a ceiling fan while his toenails were plucked out.

In spirit, the Constitution and the Bill of Rights, and all that come with them, are intended to apply to all human beings. In practice, the ideals espoused therein are safest and most secure when in practice they apply to as many human beings as possible.

It may be counterintuitive but I'm pretty sure that our greatest weapons against terrorism are not furtiveness and the abrogation of our rights, but openness and an embracing of the latter; we are most secure not when we abandon the ideals on which this country was founded, but when we cleave closer than ever to them, even at the exclusion of seeking out the illusion of security.

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posted by teh l4m3 at 8:25 AM | Permalink | 7 be jibber-jabberin'

And We're Shocked?

2.27.2007
Ore : 6:49 AM

What a tragedy this might have been...
Yet more proof, ladies and gents, that Shaitan takes care of his own...

Oh, and if you ever needed even more evidence of his devilry, this quote is worth its weight in evil gold:
“They clearly try to find ways to question the authority of the central government,” Cheney said of Taliban insurgents. “Striking at Bagram with a suicide bomber I suppose is one way to do that.”
Yes, suicide bombing is just another way of questioning authority. In other words, Code Pink and veterans who demonstrate against the Iraq war are the moral equivalent of suicide bombers.

Glenn Reynolds, Hugh Hewitt, Michelle Malkin, Jeff Goldstein, Ann Coulter, et alia: These aren't merely isolated fringe elements who operate in a vacuum, folks.

UPDATE: Just so we're clear, folks, I don't mean just a little
evil. (Read the whole thing, especially the last three or so paragraphs.)

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posted by teh l4m3 at 6:49 AM | Permalink | 10 be jibber-jabberin'

Choosy Cylons Choose Skiffy

2.26.2007
Ore : 1:50 PM

Shamelessly appropriated from Dylan at ProjectKooky.com.
It was bound to happen, especially when a show has in the past consistently justified such high expectations. Battlestar Galactica has stumbled of late. "
The Curious Case of Doctor Eugenics" was the clunkiest, most ham-fisted episode ever produced -- some of the actors, even after presumably many many rehearsals, looked downright uncomfortable delivering their overburdened lines. And then we had "An Airlock of Unfortunate Events," which centered inexplicably around two of the least interesting characters in the entire ensemble: Chief Tyrol and Cally. I mean, I'm sure they're sweet kids and all, but they're just not all that damn interesting, even when they use Baltar's Mein Kampf as a jumping off point for their interstellar Norma Rae act, as they in did last night's ep. I'm really not sure where the writers and producers are going here -- were these just poorly done filler episodes? (Has BSG done that before?) Also, yesterday's episode featured a very uncharacteristically nasty President, and an equally unbelievable Admiral. What gives?

I want more drunken fisticuffs between Tigh and Starbuck, more Cylon backbiting, more about the "final five" -- in short, I want more progress, even if it's just inching towards Earth. Enough of this aimless drifting... Next week looks a bit more promising, but I'm not holding my breath.

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posted by teh l4m3 at 1:50 PM | Permalink | 3 be jibber-jabberin'

Most Evil Visage On Earth

2.23.2007
Ore : 11:45 AM

Yes I'd like a baby labrador with a side of Iraqi toddler's blood -- hold the conscience.
Submitted with only slight commentary:

Cheney characterized Iraq as integral to the war against Islamic terrorists who want to “establish a caliphate covering a region from Spain across North Africa across the Middle East and South Asia all the way around Indonesia.”
And while yes, it occurs to me that the quoted outcome is exactly what Cheney and his flying monkeys would like to see happen -- a new paradigm that echoes that of our detente with the USSR during the Cold War, one that would shore up and maintain the political relevance of Cheney and his kind for decades (btw, yes I recognize the unlikeliness of this ever coming to pass, given the deep and myriad divisions within Islam worldwide) -- but on another level, are those really our only two choices: Shari'a-informed theocracy vs. corporatist military dictatorship occasionally leavened with Christianist theocracy? If that really is the dichotomy facing ours and future generations, then stop the world; I want to get off.

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posted by teh l4m3 at 11:45 AM | Permalink | 6 be jibber-jabberin'

Cutting Corners

2.22.2007
Ore : 11:36 AM

Shorter K-Lo: "Why won't the INS detain me already???"

Shorter
Iaiaiaiain Murray: "Z.P.G., next to Birth of a Nation, was the finest conservative movie ever produced, in that it warned us of environmentalists' desire to purée babies."

Shorter
Whale Pod: "Since 9/11 killed irony, it's fine for me to comment negatively on another man's physical attractiveness."

Shorter
Jack Fouler: "Cuba! Marx! GET IT? Ha!"

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posted by teh l4m3 at 11:36 AM | Permalink | 5 be jibber-jabberin'

Tasteful And Not At All Shameless

2.19.2007
Ore : 10:55 AM


Wow.

posted by teh l4m3 at 10:55 AM | Permalink | 13 be jibber-jabberin'

OMGWTFBBQ!!!

2.16.2007
Ore : 5:38 PM


Note-perfect and hilarious. Dig it.

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posted by teh l4m3 at 5:38 PM | Permalink | 7 be jibber-jabberin'

Not So Stealthy Wingnuttery


Ore : 1:08 PM

From the article "Finding Washington's Faith":

[American Profile]: Washington's image today is quaint at best. We mostly see him as a talking dollar bill in a TV commercial for a President's Day sale. How did he become such a largely forgotten hero?

[Peter A. Lillback]: I suppose because of the spirit of political correctness. In seeking to correct the oversight of people that belong in our story as Americans, we've thrown out some of our white male founders. We don't know them anymore...
Wow. I'm going to, for the sake of this post, allow that Lillback knows what he's talking about, and that most Americans are as vapid and ignorant of their own history as American Profile's Alanna Nash.

People don't know much about Washington not because corporate America and its legion of screech monkeys in the Religious Right (both composed almost entirely of some of the wealthiest, most powerful white men the Earth has ever known) have been waging a usually subtle jihad against public education in America for decades, but because America has become hostile to white men.

(
American Profile can be found as a supplement in any local newspaper that's run by wingnuts or is desperate enough for cash. This excerpt was taken from their February 18-24th issue, the cover of which has a Norman Rockwellesque image of General Washington pulling a "praying Calvin" pose -- very classy.)

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posted by teh l4m3 at 1:08 PM | Permalink | 3 be jibber-jabberin'

Time To Wet Your Beds. Again.


Ore : 7:44 AM

The push for war in Iran is for some reason failing, so here's another "buy duct tape" moment.

And the choicest excerpt:

With a narrator speaking in American-accented English...
Argh! Have liberals no shame???

posted by teh l4m3 at 7:44 AM | Permalink | 2 be jibber-jabberin'

Make-up Hint To Pammycakes

2.15.2007
Ore : 11:06 PM


I noticed in this recent picture posted of atlasshrugs's Pam Oshry (yes, find the link for yourselves -- she's one of "those," and you're big boys and girls), the V-Day one in which she's posing with relative sedateness with heterosexual theatre critic Mark Steyn, that she heavily favors the Jessica Simpsonish smoky, smoldering eyes. My advice: chuck it. On Jessica Simpson, it fails to do what I apprehend she wants it to do: make her look deeper than she is. On Pam, it positively makes the old crow's feet look like brand-new buzzard tracks. I say lighten up. Pam should stop ignoring the lips and instead focus on them, and imbue them with incandescence a la Julianne Moore (hated liberal, I know...) Let the eyes speak for themselves.

She would still look crazier than Cheryl Crow trying to score an 8-ball, but the point is liquid eyeliner -- eschew drawing attention to the worn-out orbits, and make the guy focus down to the cheekbones and lips. Bonus? Peeps will be less interested in her severe, yet strangely unwidow's-peaked fivehead.

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posted by teh l4m3 at 11:06 PM | Permalink | 2 be jibber-jabberin'

Moranic Argument From Assertion


Ore : 8:14 AM

Rick Moran at the apparently unironically titled Right Wing Nuthouse pulls a not-so-fast one. (The column has to be long, you notice, because there's a lot of pretzel-twisting going on -- not even a blockquote from Jizzshake McCockslap, as famous for his intricate empty-calorie verbosity as he is for his ability to pack a whopping amount of non-information into one sentence, can find him a bridge to brevity.)

He wants to defend Instahack for his typical Glennocidal tendencies ("Thou shalt not speak ill of a [notional ally]" and all that) while still being on the right side of the issue. So he attacks
Greenwald's mostly moral condemnation of Reynolds's plan while back-handedly lauding Yglesias's evisceration of its practicality. But Moran wastes no time demonstrating why even a junior-high schooler may disregard his disagreement with Greenwald:

How Lambchop managed to wangle a column at Salon is a mystery. They obviously haven’t been reading his shallow, calumnious, hate filled rants toward conservatives and Bush supporters. His generalized assaults on people who disagree with him are wildly beyond the pale of decency and common sense – coarse, exaggerated, full of laughably simplistic analysis coupled with nauseating, moralistic lecturing. Lambchop is a Calvinist without the redeeming belief in God’s mercy.
...Because by the time you're in 9th grade, you quickly learn from the low scores on your essays in Freshman English that you cannot continue neglecting to provide concrete examples in support of even the most mundane claims without ultimately failing the class. "Shallow"; "calumnious"; "hate filled [sic]"; and laughably, "beyond the pale of decency and common sense": All without a single link or quote to shore up his, let's face, far from mundane assertions. He even has the nerve to call Greenwald's posts "...full of laughably simplistic analysis..." without illustrating how this is so -- Rick cannot go beyond Moranic invective. While, to wit, Jeff Goldstein accusing someone of arguing in bad faith is utterly hilarious on the face of it.

But that is a digression.

There are not many, there is one holistic argument against government-conducted assassinations of civilian scientists and religious leaders, and Greenwald stressed its moral elements while Yglesias focused on the practical (a careful and ingenuous reading of each reveals that neither did so exclusively.) And there was no tag-teaming and shifting of goal-posts between Greenwald and Yglesias; one's argument (that Glenn's plan is wrong and nastier than a shithouse rat) reinforced the other's (that Glenn's plan is impractical and deeply stupid.)

Granted, here at Freedom Camp I
only rarely delve into moral issues, knowing full well how tricky they can be, how unauthoritative I am, and how much easier it is to smack down the Rick Morans of Blogistan simply with observations that hew as close to materialism or utilitarianism as possible. But I can without any arrogance assert that unlike many of my counterparts on the Right, I know damn well there's a hell of a lot more to morality than, say, adhering to doctrinaire codes of sexual behavior.

For one thing, I've often noticed that a good litmus test for what is truly moral is that it virtually always accords with true pragmatism. It is morally feasible as well as materially pragmatic to fully fund and support public education. Torture is wrong as well as ineffective. Lying in order involve your country in an unjustified foreign war is as concretely damaging and counterproductive as it is evil and reprehensible. There's just no splitting the difference here.

PS "Lambchop"? "Sock-puppet"? This is an inside joke if I've ever heard one -- did I miss some Right-wing gotcha moment in which Greenwald was revealed as
Sprezzatura II? What gives?

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posted by teh l4m3 at 8:14 AM | Permalink | 7 be jibber-jabberin'

Goddamn Spanish


Ore : 7:21 AM

Putting them on trial? Doesn't the Spanish government know anything? You're supposed to lift their stature, painting them with comic-book supervillain colors and thereby ratcheting up the fear; declare perpetual war against them and anyone who shares a similar ethnicity, employing a military response and not a law enforcement one; and then draw out this response for ever and ever in order to maintain your political relevance. Silly Spanish -- you don't use the courts, you violate your own laws and use torture, rendition to countries that use torture, and indefinite detention.

You'd think these mealy-mouthed Leftists understand nothing about consolidating power...

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posted by teh l4m3 at 7:21 AM | Permalink | 1 be jibber-jabberin'

Question For The Day

2.14.2007
Ore : 9:36 AM

Are this, this and this merely the final, agonizingly drawn-out eliminationist squeals of the fascist pig before it's at last slaughtered, or is our country in serious trouble?

PS I just noticed, in the coverage of Bush's speechifyification, that CNN has been captioning a lot of stuff in Times New Roman. I find this disturbing, and I can't explain why...

PPS The fuckers forced me to change. "Enjoy the new Blogger!" Fuck you very much.

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posted by teh l4m3 at 9:36 AM | Permalink | 5 be jibber-jabberin'

Uh Oh. The Pressure's On

2.13.2007
Ore : 9:00 AM

The natives are getting restless about my moving to the NEW BLOGGER. Before I decide whether or not to do that, a quick aside:

The official moderating the briefing said the intelligence analyst was the reason for the secrecy. He said it would be dangerous for the analyst, an Iran expert, and his sources to be publicly shown or identified.
You just know the "Iran expert" in question works for a right-wing think tank, and probably publishes columns at the National Review, right?

posted by teh l4m3 at 9:00 AM | Permalink | 4 be jibber-jabberin'

At Least Dex Might Be Interested...

2.12.2007
Ore : 11:45 PM

Truth is, I've tended, since age 17 or so to shy away from axiomatic thinking. But with all the "debate" surrounding global warming and manmade alterations to our environment, this seems appropriate:

The most powerful agent for change in any given biosphere is its nearest solar neighbor. To wit, sunspots alter our weather, and the right magnitude of solar flare could destroy all life on Earth -- alternately, our sun (however unlikely at this juncture in its development) could go nova.

The second most powerful agent for change in any given biosphere is a nearby large object which could collide with it; we're all pretty sure how the dinosaurs went bye-bye. The megatonnage from any NEO impact would dwarf the whole lot of our nuclear warheads deployed at once.

The third most powerful agent for change in any given biosphere is the most technologically dependent species born of that biosphere.

How can we possibly argue against our own involvement in the destruction of the web of life upon which we rely? And where do these Domenechian freaks come from?

posted by teh l4m3 at 11:45 PM | Permalink | 5 be jibber-jabberin'

fapfapfapfap


Ore : 12:12 PM

Oh, excuse me. I didn't see you there.

Zzzzip!

posted by teh l4m3 at 12:12 PM | Permalink | 6 be jibber-jabberin'

Hottie Saturday

2.10.2007
Ore : 11:22 AM

I have a terrible habit of liking bands even more than I should when the lead singer is really fucking hot. (Corollary to that is my penchant for watching music videos made by bands to which I would not listen on the radio just because one of the members makes my member hard.) Oh well.

This of course is not one of those cases. I happen to love the Walkmen anyway. It's just icing on the cake that Hamilton Leithauser CAN STICK IT IN RIGHT NOW!!!






posted by teh l4m3 at 11:22 AM | Permalink | 7 be jibber-jabberin'

An Excerpt

2.09.2007
Ore : 7:17 AM

From an article on "Operation: Blame Iran!":

Meanwhile, the defense secretary has been getting a lukewarm response here to his plea for allies to send more troops and aid for a spring offensive in Afghanistan.

...

France and Germany are questioning the wisdom of sending more soldiers, while Spain, Italy and Turkey have also been wary of providing more troops.

"When the Russians were in Afghanistan, they had 100,000 soldiers there and they did not win," German Defense Minister Franz Josef Jung told reporters.

...

Lithuania, which already has 130 troops in Afghanistan, offered to send an unspecified number of special forces, helping to fill a key shortfall.
I can hear it now, during the 2008 presidential debates: "You forgot Lithuania!" Two weeks later, they'll pull out.

PS Is it that they're really this stupid? Or do they just think we are? First
Abu Gonzales, now the stupidest fucking man on the planet:

"This was not 'alternative intelligence assessment,' " he said. "It was from the start a criticism of the consensus of the intelligence community, and in presenting it I was not endorsing its substance."
Yes, you read that right: He didn't submit his report of ties between Saddam and al Qaeda because he endorsed its substance, but, well, just for the hell of it. And it wasn't an alternative assessment -- it was merely a critique of an assessment that no one outside of the intelligence community got to see because they were too busy crowing about his "critique."

Jackass.

posted by teh l4m3 at 7:17 AM | Permalink | 7 be jibber-jabberin'

You Like My Body?

2.08.2007
Ore : 2:07 PM

Find me one person who didn't see this coming a mile away, and I'll show you someone who's deaf, blind, and has been living in a cave for the past decade.


Like Marilyn Monroe, but without the brains, the class, the talent, or the looks.
HOOOOOWWWWWWAAAAAARD! I'm dead. Where's my tekeelia?


And of course, I detect the fey fingerprints of kittenish fruitpie Bobby Trendy all over this.

Poor Marshall. Death was no shield...

posted by teh l4m3 at 2:07 PM | Permalink | 16 be jibber-jabberin'

Your Children Are Savage Half-Wits

2.06.2007
Ore : 11:03 PM

I'm upset. For four hours, it was bliss: all my patrons were elderly -- they even smelt so. I'm sure they wore diapers. And then three o'clock wore around. All the sudden, I had to contend with a stink-bomb. A stink-bomb: a sulfery whatsits that was supposed to smell like a smelly fart ohohoho those kids are so funny, aren't they? So fucking funny. Don't you want to fucking kill them. Oh, yes you do. That's why you send them my way. So they'll burden themselves on me, and not be a PAIN TO YOU. THAT'S WHY. GODDAMMIT.

posted by teh l4m3 at 11:03 PM | Permalink | 7 be jibber-jabberin'

A Real Frickin' Space Cadet


Ore : 10:35 AM

...Is to love triangles what Michelle Malkin is to sanity.
BREAKING: Classy brainiac has busted O-ring.

A couple of quick thoughts: 1) That is some hellaciously white-trash behavior coming from a disciplined scientist who's passed countless batteries of psychological tests... Then again, dig that hair. 2) Not all publicity is good publicity, especially for NASA, and now more than ever. I mean, adult diapers and pepper spray? What the hell?

Oh yeah, and honey? He all right, but he
ain't all that... Dang.

posted by teh l4m3 at 10:35 AM | Permalink | 9 be jibber-jabberin'

Pin A Star On My Neocortex

2.05.2007
Ore : 8:21 AM

Hundreds of people have died in Iraq in the past week. And the response has been less than enthusiastic to the PR stunt that is the slightly revamped version of "Operation We Should Have Lunch Together. Alone. Without Each Other" -- unsurprising, as it didn't enjoy a hell of a lot of success last time...

So what's a flailing, failing administration to do? Easy: since they're always being called on their
abject brainlessness, why not roll out the PhD Generals, led by none other than Ammianus "Petraeus" Marcellinus? They kill people and they write essays? I can already hear, via the magic of the Intertubes, the fapfapfap over Tacitus's keyboard... It's pretty sad. The only reason this is a huge news story is because for once we're putting people in charge who aren't terminally stupid.

Pardon me for not having a doctorate in warology, but it's clear that the "fortress mentality" lamented by Petraeus and his fellow warrior-scholars is only part of the problem, and possibly not the most fundamental. US soldiers and marines are not centurions or British East India Company soldiers or legionnaires, and the Iraqi soldiers are not our sepoys. The prevailing, apparently unalterable mindset of the military is, if America is in danger, to eliminate the danger -- kill the bad guys and come home. They are simply not suited to pacifying and occupying for the long term a colonial acquisition, which is obviously what many on the Right had hoped Iraq would become. The US military, as an institution, lacks the psychological infrastructure to support imperialist ventures.

The brainiacs will get their surge, and they may even enjoy some early successes. But they'll fail in the end. The only way we could succeed in Iraq the way the president and other wingnuts would have us succeed is by giving up on representative democracy stateside -- by accepting a sea-change in the very soul of America itself.

posted by teh l4m3 at 8:21 AM | Permalink | 5 be jibber-jabberin'

Some Internets Can't Be Fixed

2.02.2007
Ore : 9:50 PM

What the hell is the perky hellbeast from Rura Penthe on the left doing anywhere near the personal space of the goddess on the right?

My name is Tina Turner, and I only have Regis Philbin to my name, but if you let me stay here tonight, I WILL PAY YOU BACK.

Angela, you are a fabulous woman, and black don't crack: Can't you see that this blonde bitch looks older than you do, even though she's a decade younger? IN RE phot ops: you can do better...

posted by teh l4m3 at 9:50 PM | Permalink | 3 be jibber-jabberin'

Fixing The Internet


Ore : 7:32 AM

Uh-oh, hope Malkin doesn't see this!
You know, considering the
amount of flak AP and others have been getting for their reporting, maybe we ought to help them out a bit...

Score one for journalistic integrity!
There. Much better.

Apologies to Gavilicious, Bradstance Booberry, and the boys at
Sadly, No!

posted by teh l4m3 at 7:32 AM | Permalink | 6 be jibber-jabberin'

Mr. Cheney, I Am Flipping You Off So Hard Right Now

2.01.2007
Ore : 11:26 AM

I hope you can feel it. You and Bush and and Condi and Gonzales -- not to mention your crypto-fascist congressional enablers, the mouthbreathers at LittleGreenShitballs, the Wingnut Welfare Queens at the National Review -- the whole lot of you have turned my country into a nation of bedwetters.

In the wake of Kennedy's assassination, in the wake of the Oklahoma City bombing, it seems to me that our leaders acted appropriately. Their response was to calm people and try and unite them, to allay fears, to make sure that the most level heads possible prevailed in the national discourse. The plan of the Bush administration, in the wake of 9/11, has been the exact opposite. They seemed to think, "Wow, we can really use this. Ratchet up the fear, and we can play the American people like a poorly tuned, cacaphonous instrument!" Next thing you know, James Lileks can barely make it to the Tar-zhey without a condom catheter, and his new Todd Oldham sheets need to be rubberized.

Every one who isn't a Bush Republican is a traitor, giving "aid and comfort to the enemy." Buy duct tape. Your neighbor canvasses for the Peace & Freedom Party? Report her and we'll put her on the No-Fly List. Suspend habeas corpus. Torture people. Reclassify documents. Kerry up in the polls? Raise the terror alert level to yellow. Balsa wood planes. Mushroom clouds. Hell, the greatest part of the 2004 Bush/Cheney campaign involved Cheney telling handpicked crowds of loyalty-oath signers that their children would die at the hands of Mexislamonazifascists if they didn't vote for him.

At this point, if you're still cowering every time someone shrieks, "Flying imams!", I know some shady Arabs at the Port of Miami who want to sell you sprinkler parts, dumbass.

Cut to yesterday: Some college kids, maybe to make a little extra dough, participated in a viral marketing campaign to promote an upcoming cartoon movie, in concert with fans and stoners in several other American cities, by placing these LED signs around town. But in one instance, one noodlehead all hopped up on Bush Brand Terrorballs goes nuts and panics the whole city of Boston. But who's going to get nailed to the wall? Not the bedwetters who overreacted, no, but the guys whose actions were immediately mistaken for 9/11 2: Radiological and/or Biochemical Boogaloo.

Right now, these kids are sitting in the hoosegow, as near as I can tell, on charges of perpetrating a "hoax" and "disorderly conduct." I'll let the latter slide for now, 'cos I've got to head out the door, but the former cracks me up. It's a hoax if those devices were planted with the intention of making people think they were bombs. But this isn't the equivalent of yelling "IED" in a crowded theatre; it's the equivalent of tagging said crowded theatre with stickers bearing the scandalous name of your favorite local band.

And you know what the worst part is? The American people are getting really sick hearing people cry, "Dishdasha-clad wolf!" thanks to the White House's continued machinations. One of these days, somebody is going to report something real, something truly scary, and the response won't be what it should because every underemployed mook will have spent his last dime on plastic sheeting and a gas mask.

For fuck's sake, people, let's get a grip here.

PS I'd also like to add that if the Turner Broadcasting people have any sense and honor at all, they will provide the best defense money can buy for the ill-starred guys who got busted -- Big Ted himself better be lining up to take the stand on their behalf.

posted by teh l4m3 at 11:26 AM | Permalink | 12 be jibber-jabberin'

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